"You will get squashed by a massive bird playing Wikipedia"

see wikipedia is not The Stig

Simple enough

Because they dont like you.

And even if it was, nobody would buy it because it sucks (like Duncan).

Mountain Dew is better.

We won't disappear for 5 years.

It's a SERIES of TUBES!

Hey, you! Do that stuff over there, or there.

...but it is a public toilet.

I mean, does it smell bad? No! Then it's not a sock!

So don't put dead bodies in here.

So For the Love of God Don't Look. It's Your Mama there...

Ow! ...Except, of course, if you want to bite the newbies.

In Soviet Russia, Wikipedia article edits YOU!

Awwww, man. That's no fair.... but it's okay if we're drunk already, right?

Cannonball!!!! Aww, crap! I broke my computer. hehehe

Thank God!

Perhaps this one should be officially added, now that the edit count tools are whack, and considering that the vast majority of editors are non-notable individuals.

No explanation needed.

But knowing some of the stuff here could theoretically get you laid.

It is for life. Don't let the kids sit on it or pull it by the tail.

This follows from the fact that Wikipedia is not Republican.

But you can still eat soup with it, although it might be wise to invest in a new computer. Also, Wikipedia is there, as opposed to the spoon.

Being an encyclopedia, it could not possibly look, swim, or quack like a duck.

Now that's just despicable!

Yes it is. No it isn't. Yes it is. No it isn't.

That's not an argument, that's just a contradiction!

No it's not.

Yes it is. An argument is an intellectual process, intended to establish a proposition. That's not just saying, "No it isn't".

Yes it isnt.

No, it isn't.

Look -- if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.

DUNCAN <dead argument sketch continues in random order ad infinitum>

You can't use it to darken your house. Well, you could print out articles and use those, but Wikipedia itself is not a shade. Don't even think about it.

Put down the pull cord and step away from the glass.

Usefulness? On *my* INTERNET?!

NB: It's more likely than you think!

If you want to want to eat crap, go eat the real stuff, not the virtual stuff.

Edible.

Oh, wait. It is. Never mind.

Anymore, that is. Now that Willy on Wheels is gone.

Oh, no I'm not!--Willy on Wheels (ON WHEELS!)

In the event that someone is drowning, do not throw Wikipedia to him/her. This will only make matters worse (see electrocution).

Perk!Perk!What?Blah!Let'splay!PLAYPLAYPLAY!*thud-snoooooooore*

It just is not. It was, but that didn't work so well.

Wait..

Nor is it my beautiful wife.

It does, however, hang out with war, famine, death, and pestilence.

Hasta la vista, one-liners!

Despite the assertion of many a vandal, Wikipedia is not gay. He is in fact going out with google.com. I heard he got her pregnant!

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Well, I don't know about ^him, but I heard they broke up.

THEY WERE ON A BREAK!

Depending on what your reply is, you could suffer... *cocks shotgun* Any Questions?

Do note that although this is the alternative of sucking, you should think accordingly as to whether it does or does not blow. *waves shotgun*

See two previous entries. Also, it won't love you long time.

The sky is blue.

It isn't really possible to blast your enemies in the face with Wikipedia, although additional cardiovascular damage may occur as a result, making it roughly as dangerous.

Too many people think it is.

Wikipedia is also not Britannica, nor is it a radish.^[1]

Wikipedia is not original research.

You can't use Wikipedia to make your life as easy as breathing. It leads to serious problems.

Yup.....what were you expecting something funny? Well your not gunna get it cuz it really isn't deodorant.

Don't throw it on the floor and let people fall on it.

It is a website. Well duhhhhh!!

Although it is an alternate reality of sorts.

That's why dieting and/or exercise were created.

Or, as the French would say, Wikipédia n'est pas une pipe.

So call now! The next fifty callers receive a free Wiktionary! Sorry, no CODs

no, it ain't gonna take it, Wikipedia's not gonna take it, anymore

But thanks for letting us know you have assumed control

Not since that arbcom ruling.

But it is a cult.

THIS... IS... WIKIPEDIA!!

No, no, it is not.

It's not BBBBBBBBBB, Meow, Woof or YYYYYYYYY either.

If Wikipedia tells you to do something, you don't necessarily have to do it. Now clean your room!

Please don't get your friends to worship it, please.

Okay? It's safe. Just take off that damn protection suit, it smells like your ugly face!

No girl should just wanna have fun here. This is serious business!

Come on down all you want, but you aren't winning a new car anytime soon.

I'll take "Wikipedia" for $200.

It isn't a place for buying any vowels, either.

You can say that backwards. Or is that going too far?

Go to Jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Pick that up!

So take your kawaii's and kakkoii's elsewhere fangirls. D:<

It also isn't suitable for people with nut allergies.

You are, goodbye.

There is no pilgrimage to becoming the high administrator, no maestor Wales to overthrow, no aeonpuppets to summon, and no overdrive edits to perform. The dead do not become fiends. No Wikiknights are battling Sin. You can't increase your power by negotiating the edit grid.

And on a further note, Wikipedia is not Final Fantasy XI

So you can't nominate it for eviction. But you can nominate the stupid contestant's pages for deletion. Or be bold and redirect them to the article of the Big Brother season they appeared. Unless of course they have been all over the news for saving baby seals, or they happen to be best friends with Paris Hilton, or written a best seller, or did the nasty with Richard Hatch. Other than those things, there is no reason to have individal articles on Big Brother contestants just for being on/or winning the show! Get a life.

But, if it was, they'd either be won by someone who works for Wikipedia^[2] or have already chosen the winner before closing the lines^[3].

It also follows that they'll also rig phone-in polls as well^[4], or charge more than they should for those votes^[5].

Besides, if it was a phone-in competition, the winner will be someone who works behind the scenes, without the host's knowledge^[6]. Either that, or say the show with less votes is the winner^[7] and be fined less than they made^[8].

Because it had to be done.

So what is this then?

it's not a catchy song either.

It is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon.

You can't always have it your way here, sorry.

You won't be assimilated. Just your knowledge. You can go on about your business. Move along.

It will not throw barrels.

Wikipedia has 99 bitches and ain't a problem with one^[9]

Anyway, that's Alex Turner out of the Arctic Monkeys' job.

Nor is it a cheese-eating surrender monkey.

WHEN IT WASNT!

MOAR SAUCE

YOU WISH!

That's on Wiktionary

Seriously

So get ya shitty pants o' ma articlez, or y'ain't be breathin' anymo'. Come o', man, ya heard me, get t'hell outta ma encyclopediah.

While Wikipedia is not censored, there is no fucking need to swear for no fucking reason.

Not funny!

pikiWedia is also not a space for ploonerisms, mo natter fow hunny they are. Seliousry. me Wean it. Necause there are bumerous editors tomitted co vinding thilly sings in articles and theverting rem, you won't wet agay with it.

We're so selfish

Even if it refers to a minor river in Romania.

My girlfriend's orally pleasured 37 men...no, not in a row! DodgerOfZion (talk) 07:21, 1 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

So don't ask which exit. DodgerOfZion (talk) 07:21, 1 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Neither has it been on fire since 1962.

allwas ooze a spilling chequer too macke shure that ewe speel you're sentuncas corectally.

It may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but it is not a porn star!

Whch s why ths sntnc s Whch s why ths sntnc s wrttn wtht n.

Simple enough

Seriously.

We don't know what it refers to, either.

So it is not a bastard.

After all, it was you and me.

In spite of what was revealed, we all know that little John Ross did it.^{[original research?]}

Indeed, it's not always painless. Although it does bring home many changes...

As ZX Spectrum fans know, nothing ever is. Not even stonkers.

Cod knows, there's no plaice for such nonsense these dace.

I don't wish to carp, but no self-respecting Wikipedian would bream of writing such pollocks in any case.

But you just lost.

I did?! fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-----

damn it

Doesn't this make you win it though? http://xkcd.com/391/

It isn't in ur compootr edditn ur filez.

Wikipedia never loses its concentration or gets distracted in the middle of an -- oooh.... a butterfly....

But It's OK, it sleeps all night and it works all day. It cuts down trees, it skips and jumps, it likes to press wildflowers. It puts on womens clothing and hangs around in bars.

Because he's The Stig

Wikipedia is not any of the following:

• • The Stig's Southern American Cousin
  • The Stig's Environmentalist Cousin
  • The Stig's Communist Cousin
  • The Stig's Vietnamese Cousin
  • The Stig's Truck Driving Cousin (i.e. Big Rig Stig)
  • The Stig's African Cousin
  • The Stig's Technology Cousin ^{[dubious – discuss]}

Although: Some ^[who?] say that wikipedia and The Stig both have matching tramp stamps laugh track and that if put into a cage wrestling match, they would both win... All we know is its called The Stig and Wikipedia

Wikipedia is not tired of being what you want it to be.

Wikipedia has never wrote a gay song.

Nor, in all likelihood, anyone else. :-)

or dead.

Dead follows it.

Though it doesn't cross the road.

No one can see if you watched any mature articles.

Which, according to the modal realism of David Lewis... Can't touch this!

So put away that pokeball! (Piplup!)

Don't even think of charging that megabuster!

Here's Wiki!

Or else you wouldn't be able to read this.

But if you look 4 sections higher, you'll see that someone forgot the accent on Pokémon. That guy was probably fucking its mother while making that.

Look above this section and you'll see a cock mongler who's mother is also his aunt (don't get mad, get even).

Allthough there are editors whose battlecry is DELETE!

So it will not ex-ter-min-ate you."DEELEETEE!"

nor is it a cyberman

But you will obey it. YOU WILL OBEY IT.

It's a football! I chiseled it!

This is the new generation of Wiki.

Wikipedia is the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and is all part of the same compost pile.

That's Mama Wiki to you, reader!

Starbucks is better anyways.

So it will not promise cake.

Oh, wait, yes it is. Sorry, my mistake. While it turns out there're many, many wiki wiki, and that WikiMedia is subject to swinging, still, I'm married to my articles.

Which means that you won't see adverts instead of articles^[10].

Umm... What was I going to write again?

But it knows the rules. And so should you.
A full commitment by your edits is what we are thinking of
You wont get this from any other guy
We dont want to tell you how we are feeling (unless the server crashes, then we're all sad)
Got to make you understand that you cant vandalise wikipedia

Spellcheckers and such, hmmm. Apparently someone went through the trouble to create these tools, so why should it trouble me to take the time to learn how to use them effectively? Yeah, there are numerous editors combing through WP articles, willing to clean up our grammatical messes. But why test this diffusion of responsibility? Why not bring along my own pooper-scooper?

Do I need explain?

But then why is it beeping?

What's the difference between the Great Unthinking Masses and a triangle? A triangle has three points.

A job as a comedian is on des cartes I think.

Move along.

... then what the hell is this page here for?

Though it may be self aware.

If it's not in the Chuck Norris facts, then it's not true.

Chuck Norris Fact number 38:Editors don't run Wikipedia. Chuck Norris runs Wikipedia. -unsigned post signed by Some vandal hat hates Wikipedia (talk)

Oh be quiet. -.-

Could be true but I reckon it's more like George Bush.

And that just bugs me!!!

Part of a balanced diet includes plenty of Wikipedia, so any time is the right time for Wikipedia!

but it is heavily revamping the page.

it did not make Avatar, and we have more originality.

So don't expect it to kill headcrab zombies for you

Nuf said.

It can only make toast at the moment.

And its PUTRID ANAL SH*T COMING OUT OF A RHINOCEROS A**HOLE because of it.

but when the server crashes, we act like him

But you still can't grasp the true form of Wikipedia's attack

yeah, it's not,

um, yeah, it isn't

These stegosaur jokes are just getting old now!

Although they did hang out a lot.

but it is nearly as cool as him

It plays the Heavy Weapons Guy

What the heck?

A proper encyclopedia wouldn't have FAKE STORIES in it.

So it doesn't claim that whoever wins it is "The World Champion" when all the entrants are from one country.

Wikipedia freakin' hates the Sibbie!

Because we all know that the CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!!!

Enough said.

But it does speak several foreign languages.

Ner is it fer back-wuds di'lect!

So stop chasing it!

The word doesn't even exist anyway.

But it does go to infinity and beyond.

So don't hunt it down trying to assassinate it.

And it knows that there are people out there who wish it was.

It's not a sea dwelling mammal either.

Wikipedia is also not Seal. However, it will never survive unless we get a little crazy.

Neither was it created in 1984.

There aren't dinosaurs in here, oh wait!

It dosen't mess itself up.

As such, it does not have real-time weapon change, and you cannot attack its weak point for massive damage.

See previous entry.

It ain't gonna drag you behind the milk rack and make you dance.

Anyone get the reference? Anyone?

So shake it somewhere else.

So please make sure you keep them safe

Wikipedia is not off to Never-Never Land.

However, it is the eggman. Goo Goo G'joob

All evidence to the contrary.

So it doesn't have ridiculously underpowered weapons, broken ironsights, failed experiments or campers.

There was no public beta.

Again, all evidence to the contrary.

No explanation.

Nor did he banish his sister, Wiktionary.

Snopes is.

So it is not a gay fish

But it does have awesome weapons, destructible scenery, more awesome weapons and awesome vehicles.

So it doesn't have Comic book reviewing sleuths with magic guns, A guy with glasses who hates bat credit cards, Spoony bards, or general insanity

So there are no subplots.

However, it is Eggman. wait, wasn't this done before?

so don't jam it up your nose and say "i'm so scared!".

but there still are bears and red birds.

not anymore at least.

It's not true! It's bullshit! Wikipedia did not hit her! It did not.

• Oh, hi Mark.

But you probably should keep your stupid comments in your pocket.

Don't you mean Owl?

This entry is on a page that is on Wikipedia (now I'm confused).

Not yet.

SPOOOOCK! SPOOOOOOCK!

For real! People have asked!

but if it was it would be tuned in drop-D

Acoording to Fetchcomms and yes, someone tried to use it that way

So it won't help destroy the Elder Race of Man.

Nope. It's not. It's dead. It's been taxidermized by Chuck Testa.

So no killing elves, no magma traps, no Giant Cave Spiders, no violating laws of physics, no-
A section of the cavern has collapsed!
Urist McAnon, Contributor has been crushed under falling rock.

It does not mess up Rome.

Everything is very serious here and we are all terrifically important.

Although you can play, create and share.

Unless you are a deletionist or associated with an article's subject, then "Dat is all dat da people need to know" is the order of the day.

Check whether local restrictions apply.

• Please do it outside or your own website instead.

This website is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

That is 42.

This guy was.

It's 23.

I am a free encyclopedia!

I told you it wasn't.

Wait a second, it so is ...

Light pollution on Wikipedia now...

There are too many stars, galaxies, nebulae, star clusters, and asterisms to count. Please do not count them. Additionally, please do not do this. (Also, this took forever to add this many links.)

Ok, this is totally not my obsession.