Do you think the liberals are using these school shootings to further their anti-tragedy agenda?

— Col. Erran Morad, Who Is America?, s01e01

yod-dropper

— (when you need something that sounds like an insult)[1]

ALL keys matter

— response to the scale-wandering rendition of the national anthem at CPAC 2021

The Lunatic-in-Charge becomes the Lunatic-at-Large

Lame duck à l'orange (AKA canard à l'orange)

It is a mortifying circumstance, which greatly perplexes many a painstaking philosopher, that nature often refuses to second his most profound and elaborate efforts; so that often after having invented one of the most ingenious and natural theories imaginable, she will have the perverseness to act directly in the teeth of his system, and flatly contradict his most favorite positions. This is a manifest and unmerited grievance, since it throws the censure of the vulgar and unlearned entirely upon the philosopher; whereas the fault is not to be ascribed to his theory, which is unquestionably correct, but to the waywardness of Dame Nature, who, with the proverbial fickleness of her sex, is continually indulging in coquetries and caprices, and seems really to take pleasure in violating all philosophic rules, and jilting the most learned and indefatigable of her adorers. [...] The philosophers took this in very ill part, and it is thought they would never have pardoned the slight and affront which they conceived put upon them by the world had not a good-natured professor kindly officiated as a mediator between the parties, and effected a reconciliation. Finding the world would not accommodate itself to the theory, he wisely determined to accommodate the theory to the world.

— Washington Irving, Knickerbocker's History of New York

Pela primeira vez na sua vida a morte soube o que era ter um cão no regaço.
For the first time in her life, death knew what it felt like to have a dog in her lap.

— José Saramago, Death with Interruptions / Death at Intervals

It is now generally accepted that the megaliths that make up Stonehenge were moved by human effort.

— as opposed to by what?

Anybody who says you only have yourself to blame is just not very good at blaming other people.

— It's Happy Bunny

When poppies pull themselves up from their roots
and start out, one after the other, toward the sunset –
don't follow them.

— Slavko Janevski, 'Silence'

And the dough-headed took their acid fermentation for a soul, the stabbing of meat for history, the means of postponing their decay for civilization.

— Stanislaw Lem, Return from the Stars

The Church says that the Earth is Flat,
but I know that it is Round,
for I have seen its Shadow on the Moon,
and I have more Faith in a Shadow than in the Church.

— (commonly misattributed to Magellan)

In the early years of the study there were more than 200 speakers of the dialect, including one parrot.

— from the WP article Nancy Dorian

Mikebrown is unusually eccentric and not very bright. [...] Astronomers have not noticed any outbursts by Mikebrown.

— from the WP article 11714 Mikebrown

Ecce Mono

Keep Redskins White!

"homosapiens are people, too!!"

a sprig of spaghetti

"I've always had a horror of husbands-in-law."

awkwardnessful

anti–zombie-fungus fungus

"Only an evil person would eat baby soup." (said in all sincerity)