Langbahn Team – Weltmeisterschaft

Talk:Joehana

Featured articleJoehana is a featured article; it (or a previous version of it) has been identified as one of the best articles produced by the Wikipedia community. Even so, if you can update or improve it, please do so.
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Article milestones
DateProcessResult
April 15, 2014Good article nomineeListed
September 3, 2015Featured article candidatePromoted
Did You Know
A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on March 21, 2014.
The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that Akhmad Bassah was best known by his adopted daughter's name?
Current status: Featured article

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Joehana/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Curly Turkey (talk · contribs) 23:55, 14 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Feel free to disagree with anything—some of it's merely me trying to force my own preferences and prejudices on others.

Prose

  • What brand of English are you using? I see "towards" (predominantly Commonwealth), "humor" (US), "emphasised" & "characterisation" (Commonwealth, though not common in Canada).
  • I think a lot of your "however"s could be dropped without losing anything.

Lead

  • Can we get IPA for his name?
  • for a time at the railroad: at a particular railroad?
  • becoming an author c. 1923: Not an error or anything, but I'm a fan of prose that can be read aloud and save the "c."s for captions, taable entries, etc.
  • in social welfare which influenced his novels: a comma after "welfare", othrwise it's the "social welfare which influenced his novels" that he was interested in
  • He was also a productive translator, dramatist, and reporter, who operated a company which offered writing services: was it as a translator, dramatist, and reporter that he operated such a company? If not, then drop "who" and substitute "and" or something.
  • such as wayang and pantun are still evident: Are these literary styles, genres ...?

Biography

  • If West Java is a province, why is it lowercase western Java here?
  • and graduated from a Meer Uitgebreid Lager Onderwijs (equivalent to a junior high school) there: having "there" after the parentheses is awkward; you could stick it after "graduated".
  • How's this?
    • Read both "and graduated from a Meer Uitgebreid Lager Onderwijs (equivalent to a junior high school) there" and "and graduated there from a Meer Uitgebreid Lager Onderwijs (equivalent to a junior high school)" out loud and hear the difference. Curly Turkey (gobble) 01:40, 15 April 2014 (UTC) Sorry, I thought "How's this" meant "Whadaya mean?" Looks fine. Curly Turkey (gobble) 01:42, 15 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • He spent some time working: you could safely drop "some"
  • He was an active member of the Sarekat Rakya: the what?
  • An organization of communist leanings (which Kartini et al. conveniently left out... though giving the political climate at the time, it's small wonder that they did... even now it'll be hard to find something neutral in Indonesian on the group). — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:49, 15 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • How about something like "of the political group"?
  • the couple had no children of their own: some would consider this insensistive; how about "had no biological children"?
  • operated by the Dutch colonial government: maybe link this?
  • when the dangding: worthy of a redlink?
  • Fair enough, I had redlinked it at Sierk Coolsma as well.00:49, 15 April 2014 (UTC)
  • Tjeurik Oma (Oma's Cry): or Tjeurik Oma ("Oma's Cry") to make it clear the translation is a translation, rather than part of the title?
  • However, sources disagree: you could safely drop the "however", especially since there's another one coming right up.

Works

  • Since all the works listed are in Sundanese, is there any point in stating so for each work?
  • I'd rather list it, just to avoid having some entries which are nothing but the title (some do not have a translation as the title is a proper name, like Bambang Hendrasaputra). — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:49, 15 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Style

  • the European concept of novels: meaning they took the form of European novels?
  • Meaning novels themselves were considered a European form of literature (as were short stories and stage plays with scripts). Balinese literature (somewhat related, through Javanese literature) is hundred of years old, but the first work which can be called a novel (Nemoe Karma by I Wayan Gobiah) was only published in 1931. I am currently do not know what was the first Sundanese novel, but it was probably in the 1910s or so as schools and missionaries (like Coolsma) had long attempted to teach prose (a form rarely seen in Sundanese literature, which was primarily in verse) as a way to "modernize" the Sundanese. I can't think of a way to expand on this in-text without having a fairly detailed footnote. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:49, 15 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Unlike the more formal language: is there a distinction being made here between "formal" and "more formal"?

Themes

  • so blinded by their lust for lucre: nice turn of phrase, but is it "encyclopaedic"?
  • their wealth and societal position: not "positions"?
  • Beware, never, forget, one's mind: is there a stray comma here?
  • large interest rates for a loan: many interest rates for a single loan?

Legacy

  • This began with the republication: "this" appears to point to "Joehana's use of non-formal Sundanese", rather than the academic interest I think you meant it to.

Refs

  • I can't actually check any of the references as none of them are in a language I understand, but I spotted no warning signs of inappropriate use.
  • According to WordlCat, anyways, ISBN 978-979-8002-31-1 is in Sundanese. Shouldn't there be a "|language= Sundanese" in there? (and do you actually read all those languages—Indonesian, Malay, Sundanese?)
  • Sundanese added, and OCLC 248133402 has had Indonesian added. I read Indonesian and (vernacular) Malay quite fluently, and can get by with Malaysian (which I've used in other articles). Sundanese... not so much. But, in this case, I had had a friend from Ciamis (a predominantly Sundanese area) translate Rasiah nu Goreng Patut (including it's introduction) into Indonesian for my master's thesis, so that I could refer to it. I used that, but made sure that the page numbers coincided with the Sundanese-language edition (I can make out enough to do that at least). I can put that in a hidden note, if necessary. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:49, 15 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • What language is OCLC 248133402 in?

Images

  • All clear
  • One FU image, apporopriately tagged
  • Three other images, all of which have fallen into the PD, are on Commons, and are appropriately tagged

Misc

  • The article appears thorough, comprehensive, and balanced, as far as I can tell without being able to examine the sources.

———Curly Turkey (gobble) 23:55, 14 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Passed. I'm convinced that this article more than meets the requirements for Good Article status. Curly Turkey (gobble) 03:30, 15 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]