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This review is transcluded from Talk:1944 Jamaica hurricane/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 13:53, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

• The 1944 Jamaica hurricane inflicted considerable losses to crops and widespread damage in Jamaica in August 1944; conservative estimates placed the storm's death toll at 116. - this sounds like the death toll was all on Jamaica. Maybe make the first sentence broader, like "The 1944 Jamaica hurricane was a deadly major hurricane that inflicted damage across the Caribbean and Gulf of Mexico." IDK, you can figure out the wording. Ordinarily, I like when the first sentence isn't just "The TITLE OF ARTICLE was bladey blah", but in this case I'd be broader.

• The northern coast of Jamaica saw the most severe damage, with communities across several parishes reporting numerous homes destroyed and widespread structural damage. - I usually avoid saying "reporting", since that's our job as an encyclopedia to report/document. The latter part could be simpler, like "with widespread structural damage and numerous homes destroyed across several parishes."
• In Port Maria, the storm was considered the worst since 1903. - link 1903 Jamaica hurricane? You do in the body of the article, not the lead
• resulting in a 15–20 lull in winds - add "minute" somewhere
• You mention the SSHWS after the storm weakened to a Category 1. I'd add a mention of the SSHWS when you say "became a major hurricane the following day." This way you can also explain what a major hurricane is.
• What was the landfall intensity in Tuxpan? Not sure if worth mentioning.
• The Daily Gleaner called the hurricane Port Maria's worst storm since 1903. Estimates indicated more than 75 percent of buildings in the town were either destroyed or heavily damaged. - I feel like this would be tighter as one sentence, but it's fine as it is
• "Heavy damage" occurred in Montego Bay - why the quote?
• One indirect death was reported in the city. - what happened? I can't read the newspaper article, which got me curious. I doubt the newspaper article said the death was indirect. And I'm guessing this isn't included in the Jamaican death toll of 30?

All in all, a good read! Good work on this article TheAustinMan (talk · contribs). My comments should be easy to address. Please let me know if you have any questions. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:53, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Hurricanehink: appreciate the review! Made most of the changes you noted. As for "heavy damage", that was the phrasing used in the original news article so I decided to add the quotes since that was the verbatim phrasing, but since "heavy" is qualified by the actual impacts I decided just to specify those instead. As for the indirect death, I was surprised myself that the newspaper actually stated that. The original reporting says "One death has been reported as being indirectly caused by the storm." Unfortunately it does not detail what happened. Unsure whether it is included in the count of 30, since I've used a singular source from the HURDAT metadata rather than adding up fatality totals myself. TheAustinMan^{(Talk ⬩ Edits)} 17:23, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]