Langbahn Team – Weltmeisterschaft

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Flight Pattern/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 18 January 2025 [1].

Flight Pattern

Nominator(s): Z1720 (talk) 20:39, 18 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about a dance performance depicting the plight of a group of refugees. Choreographed by Crystal Pite for The Royal Ballet, it was the first time in 18 years that the ballet company commissioned a work by a woman. If successful, I think this would be English Wikipedia's second featured article about a dance performance, and I would like this to be TFA on World Refugee Day. Your comments and feedback are much appreciated. Z1720 (talk) 20:39, 18 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Support from Tim riley

Just a place holder for now. I hope to look in tomorrow. Tim riley talk 16:10, 21 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

A few minor points on prose:

  • " a one-act contemporary ballet by Canadian choreographer Crystal Pite" – clunky false title. The addition of a definite article will make the desired improvement.
  • "their spines unravelling" – I should think if one's spine unravels one is probably dead. It seems an odd verb to use and I can't quite picture what you are trying to convey.
  • "the couple has lost a child" – but later you use "their" rather than "its" for "the company". Either singular or plural is fine, but I recommend consistency.
  • "with the dancer's fate left ambiguous to the audience" – you might consider omitting the last three words. To whom else would it be ambiguous?
  • "masterfully layored" – what?
  • "Reviewers highlighted the 18-year gap since the Royal Ballet commissioned work from a female choreographer" – this is bound to pique your readers' interest and it would be a kindness to add an explanatory footnote saying who the previous one was and giving the name of her work.
  • Many sources mention the 18-year gap, but none mention who the last choreographer was. I'm scared that trying to do this research myself would results in WP:OR so, unless someone can find a source that mentions the last choreographer, I might be stuck. Z1720 (talk) 15:46, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the company often performs in their repertoire" – this lurches between singular and plural: either "the company often performs in its repertoire" or "the company often perform in their repertoire".

My only point about the substance of the article is that you don't mention the conductor (Koen Kessels) or the soprano soloist (Francesca Chiejina) who took part in the première. You mention the costumier, set designer and lighting designer (or unlighting designer to judge from the Royal Ballet's YouTube video) and it seems wrong to overlook the musical performers. The 2019 revival had the same singer but a different conductor, but I don't think it is necessary to mention that.

I hope these few comments are of use. Tim riley talk 13:04, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Afterthought: in the opening line is it relevant to mention Pite's nationality? Tim riley talk 13:30, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Tim riley: Comments above. Thanks for the review, and let me know if there's anything else to address. Z1720 (talk) 15:46, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

After a final read-through I'm happy to support the promotion of this article to FA. It is clear, a good read, seems neutral and balanced, is well and widely referenced (with some heavyweight sources as well as press coverage) nicely illustrated and meets all the FA criteria in my book. The false title is still in the lead but I do not press the point. I look forward to seeing the article on our front page. Tim riley talk 18:03, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Ippantekina

This seems an interesting subject! On first glance though can you let me know why you do not link the publications in the references? Ippantekina (talk) 02:48, 25 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Ippantekina: I was worried about a WP:SEAOFBLUE with the article title and the archived link. Z1720 (talk) 17:57, 25 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Overall a well-written article; my issues below are rather nitpick-y
  • I would not capitalise "the" in "the Royal Ballet" per MOS:THEMUSIC
  • Should we italicise loanwords like pas de deux?
  • I'm not sure if we should pipe "tension" as this is a commonly understood word, unless it is a ballet jargon which I'm unaware of?

Ippantekina (talk) 14:57, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Ippantekina: Thanks for the review. Responses above. Z1720 (talk) 16:20, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Support this was an interesting read and honestly spiked my interest in ballet which I have absolute zero knowledge of, great work! On a side note, I'm running an FAC for a Taylor Swift song article and I'd appreciate it if you could provide some input :) Cheers, Ippantekina (talk) 03:07, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Support from MSincccc

Lead
  • Flight Pattern is a contemporary ballet by the choreographer Crystal Pite,... "Choreographer" could be de-linked here as most occupations are. The "the" ensures that there are no false titles.
  • by the dancers Marcelino Sambé and Kristen McNally. Again, to avoid false titles.
Critical reviews
  • Reviewers differed on the emotional impact of the piece: some thought it was impactful[21][25] and that the choreography avoided abstract and metaphorical movement to a positive effect.[8] Others felt the choreography was simplistic and sanitised,[20] melodramatic,[7] or lacked the depth of her previous work.[5] Sambé's performance was "exuded fluency These two sentences could be merged or rephrased, as you prefer.
  • Luke Jennings, writing for The Guardian,... Dropped the "when".
  • Kat Lister stated in The Independent that the performance at Royal Opera House,... The newspaper's name could be linked here.
Performances
  • succeeding the Belgian choreographer Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui's Medusa... Finer version which also avoids false titles.
MSincccc (talk) 18:24, 29 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

750h

I'll comment on this in a bit. 750h+ 16:46, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@750h+: Reminder ping about this: looking forward to additional comments! Z1720 (talk) 17:38, 12 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Z1720: sorry for the wait! will get to this.

i don't have to much to say, but my concerns are listed here. i'm going to assume this is written in British English:

  • except at the end, when a column of light remove the comma
  • Kat Lister stated in The Independent that might be nice to use a different word rather than stated, as you use that in the previous sentence

I'm happy to leave a support right now, as I really don't see much wrong. Again sorry for the long wait. 750h+ 12:42, 15 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Source and image review

The non-free use rationale for File:Flight Pattern Dance.jpeg is pretty bare-bones, I must say. File:ROH auditorium 001.jpg needs a template. ALT text is OKish as is image placement. Pretty sure newspapers don't get ISSNs. Nothing else jumped out. I presume that this is a reliable source? Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:14, 9 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  • Flight Pattern Image: I expanded upon the rationale for the image.
  • ROH auditorium: I do not know what you mean when you say it needs a template. Can you clarify?
  • ISSNs for newspapers removed.
  • For the Journal, I evaluated it as a high-quality source because of the authors' credentials. Z1720 (talk) 14:17, 10 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Jo-Jo Eumerus: Comments above. Z1720 (talk) 14:16, 10 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, a template to discuss the copyright of the theatre design (freedom of panorama matters) Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:36, 10 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
I have added a FoP-UK template for the image, as it is located in the UK. I think this covers what is asked for. Z1720 (talk) 16:25, 10 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
OK. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 08:44, 11 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
@Jo-Jo Eumerus: Any other concerns, or does this a pass your image and source review? Z1720 (talk) 14:59, 11 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
No, this passes. The thing that puzzled me about idj.journals.ekb.eg is that it says it's a designer journal and has an entry about a choreography. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 07:33, 12 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Arcticocean

This is a prose review, taking the article section by section. Having seen… one ballet in my life, and knowing essentially nothing about the topic, this will be a lay reader's review.

  • Lead: Good. No suggestions.
  • Choreography:
    • There is brilliant prose here, particularly when describing the dance movement.
    • The set then opens at the back of the stage, mimicking the entrance to a holding area for the dancers. — This sentence lost me. Is 'holding area' a technical term? If it's referring to a generic holding area, "the entrance to a holding area for dancers" might be clearer.
  • Development:
    • Very good.
    • At the beginning of the creation process, Pite created movement phrases before the rehearsals and taught them to the dancers … — I was unclear what this meant: is "movement phrase" a technical term?
  • Performances:
    • Good.
    • Flight Pattern premiered, Flight Pattern was revived, After finishing choreographing Flight Pattern, she wanted to extend Flight Pattern, with Flight Pattern incorporated — I had a thought that there are too many references to the subject by name. One or two might need replacing with "it", "the piece", or something. I can't oppose because if this is a valid criticism, it's insignificant, but I know that sometimes these things become invisible until a comment from someone with fresh eyes.
  • I replaced one instance. I tried to name the piece at the beginning of each paragraph to define the subsequent pronouns, though I don't know if this is necessary? The last instance in this section is needed to avoid confusion with Light of Passage.
  • Themes and analysis:
    • Also good.
    • Not strictly prose-related, but I became interested and pulled the Golomb (2023) source. Your coverage of it is accurate and encyclopedic.
  • Critical reviews: there is a comprehensive and even-handed presentation of the various critical reviews. You strike a good balance between negative reviews (although not many, they are material) and the others. The writing is excellent. You go beyond a bland restatement of what the critics thought and captured the essence of critical reaction to the work.

Having very few suggestions for improvement, I am happy to support for prose (writing, comprehensiveness, NPOV, style, and article length). arcticocean ■ 09:38, 16 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Arcticocean: Thanks. I addressed some concerns above, and hope you can give responses to some of the questions. Z1720 (talk) 14:18, 16 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Quelle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Flight_Pattern/archive1