• I confess to once having made this edit.
• I routinely patrol new pages. You can too! (You can even use the new curation tool)!
• I sometimes play in my own sandbox.
• I use {{Cleanup-link rot}} to fix bare naked URL references in some of my favorite articles. See the reflinks page for more info or try the web tool.
• I use Huggle to patrol changes and Twinkle to simplify editing tasks.
• One should not assume that I am an expert on every topic to which I've contributed, or that I've contributed to all of my areas of expertise. It's way more random than that. (Variety is the spice of life!)

I stumbled onto the origins of language page and am completely fascinated by it, even though there are parts I didn't understand. For example, the article states that

[s]ome scientists believe that Homo sapiens did not leave Africa before [acquiring speech], because they had not yet attained modern cognition and language, and consequently lacked the skills or the numbers required to migrate.

Are they suggesting that Homo sapiens did not emigrate out of Africa earlier because they were unable to stop and ask for directions?

I often get comments about the wide range of topics in my list of contributions. Well, variety is the spice of life, and if you want to spice up your life then you can try patrolling recent changes here at Wikipedia! Not only will you be making a valuable contribution to the world's biggest collaborative encyclopedia but you will also learn new and often off-beat things -- and you will also get a glimpse of the sometimes childish and sometimes amusing antics of some of our newer editors! It is important work, as you can help to fight vandalism, yet it is a lot easier and requires less expertise than patrolling new pages.

Wiki Projects and Contributions This user is a new pages patroller with Twinkle! This user is a new page patroller. This user is a recent changes patroller. - This user is a translator and proofreader from Spanish to English on Wikipedia:Translation. - This user is a translator and proofreader from French to English on Wikipedia:Translation. This user is a participant in WikiProject Linguistics. Certifications and memberships PMP This user is a certified Project Management Professional. M This editor used to be a member of Mensa. Eductional Background This user attends, attended, or plans to attend Boston University. CU This user is a student or alumnus of Cabrini University. This user is a student or alumnus of Thomas Jefferson University. Miscellaneous Stances This user is interested in television. This user enjoys watching pointless animations. This user is against DRM.

English Preferences This user knows that because English is a living language, grammar and syntax are not fixed. a lot alot This user recognizes that linguistic change is a natural and desirable aspect of human language. Majority ≠ right This user recognizes that even if 61,838,154 people make the same mistake, it's still a mistake. Speakers Know Best This user recognizes that grammar comes from humans, not from the heavens. Trust native speakers. they… This user considers singular they standard, modern, informal English usage, so avoids it on Wikipedia. wyf- man This user understands grammatical gender historically preceded and is independent of natural gender. snuk This user says snuck. to¦go This user chooses to sometimes use split infinitives. …in. Ending a sentence with a preposition is something that this user is okay with. whom This user insists upon using whom wherever it is called for, and fixes the errors of whomever he sees. ANAL 4 This user advocates good grammar usage. Latin Plurals: "Data is are..." This user uses "data", "media", "memoranda", "criteria", and "agenda" as the plurals of "datum", "medium", "memorandum", "criterion", and "agendum". English Singulars: "The data is..." This user recognizes that "data", "media", and "agenda" have become incorporated into English as singular nouns. U.S. spelling This user prefers to use American English spelling. US This user uses American English. USage decline This user uses American English, but is appalled at its rapid and continuing deterioration.

Programming Languages prog Like one third of Wikipedians, this user is a programmer. C-2 This user is an intermediate C programmer. C#-2 This user is an intermediate C# programmer. C++-2 This user is an intermediate C++ programmer. This user can program in JavaScript. Java-5 This user is a professional Java programmer. Perl-N This user is a native Perl speaker. REXX-3 This user is an advanced REXX coder. SQL-3 This user is an advanced SQL programmer. UBX(){   UBX(); } This user loves Recursion! UBX(){   UBX(); } This user loves Recursion! UBX(){   UBX(); } This user loves Recursion! UBX(){   UBX(); } This user loves Recursion! UBX(){   UBX(); } This user loves Recursion! Other Awesome Skills and Accomplishments This user is capable of simultaneously holding two contradictory opinions. This user can make The Spinning Dancer turn both ways. This user uses the PA Turnpike. This user has an awesome pet dog.

Here is a link to Wikipedia's special pages, like new pages and articles wanting a translation: List of Special Pages.

Occasionally I feel like putting a link somewhere so I can find it later. Ie:

I am sure that none of you would ever stoop to vandalism but if you do then I will report you to the Department of Vandal Blockers.

All other miscreants will be referred to the administrators' noticeboard for incidents at once!