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This review is transcluded from Talk:Witchcraft in Orkney/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 08:16, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Will start soon. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 08:16, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• No DAB links Y
• No Dead links Y

• Witchcraft in Orkney possibly has its roots in the settlement of Norsemen on the archipelago from the eighth century onwards. suggest you start off with something like Witchcraft in Orkney is the practice of magic, especially black magic, that is practiced in Orkney.

  Then add It may has its roots in the settlement of Norsemen on the archipelago from the eighth century onwards.

  I've never been a fan of the "X is a kind of X" style so often seen in WP articles, especially in the first sentence of a lead. Eric Corbett 14:57, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Sixty-eight people had been accused, the majority – around ninety percent – were women, a higher ratio than that recorded in the rest of the country. suggest During this time period, sixty-eight people were accused, the majority – around ninety percent – were women, a higher ratio than that recorded in the rest of the country.
• Any accusations levelled against men were all related to cases dealing with women. suggest All of the accusations levelled against men were related to cases dealing with women.

  I think "any" is better, as it emphasises that there's a comparison being made, which "all" doesn't really do. Eric Corbett 14:55, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• @Eric Corbett: That is all my comments, passing now. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:40, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  Thanks for the very swift review. Eric Corbett 14:55, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]