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Nominator: Min968 (talk · contribs) 04:34, 9 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Borsoka (talk · contribs) 14:19, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):

   C. It contains no original research:

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Comments

As far as I can see this is your first GA. Please regard my comments as suggestions and feel free to disregard any of them if you think it would not improve the article, but please share your reasoning with me. Borsoka (talk) 14:27, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• I would expand the lead section with two or three sentences. Borsoka (talk) 14:37, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...the defense of the northern borders of the Ming dynasty began to deteriorate Why? (very short explanation) I would rephrase the sentence to clarify the venue: "the defense of the northern borders of Ming China began to deteriorate".
• Weisuo?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 12:04, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Military peasants... Is this the common English term? A link or a short introduction?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 12:04, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Link "eunuchs" to Eunuchs in China, and "the steppe" to Mongolian–Manchurian grassland.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 23:25, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...as the outposts in present-day Inner Mongolia had been abandoned. Why and when? (very short explanation)
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 12:04, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• A note to "firearms of various types" to explain them?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 11:41, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• A link or short explanation for hand rockets?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 11:41, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• A link to Eastern Mongols?
• ..., giving them control over Mongolia Rephrase.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 01:13, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...to the young Khan of the Eastern Mongols Arughtai? (If they are not one and the same person, this should be clarified when Arughtai is introduced as the leader of the Eastern Mongols.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 01:13, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...inherited the title of taishi... In the previous sentences, we are not informed that Toghon bore the title taishi.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 01:13, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• • I would introduce the title taishi when it is first mentioned. Borsoka (talk) 01:38, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• ...ruled over Mongolia To what does the term Mongolia refer this context? The three Mongol tribes or present-day Mongolia?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 01:13, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Introduce Hami as a Chinese/Ming city.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 01:13, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Introduce Gansu as a Chinese/Ming province.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 01:13, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...his power extended to the borders of Korea Did he conquer or inherit the lands near Korea?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 01:13, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• • I am not sure.

• ...he was seen as a threat by opponents of Wang Zhen,... Why? Why not by Wang Zhen?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 11:28, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ..., so did his need for these goods. Why?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 16:09, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...This led to a significant influx of Mongols... Influx? Did they settle in the city?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 02:57, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• • This led to a significant number of Mongols into Datong... I do not understand. Borsoka (talk) 01:38, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• ...for an imperial princess for his son Perhaps "for an imperial princess's hand for his son"/"for an imperial princess as a wife for his son"
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 03:09, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Borsoka (talk) 15:40, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Borsoka I have revised the points mentioned above. Min968 (talk) 05:21, 26 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• Introduce Toghtoa Bukha Khan.
• Despite not consulting his ministers,... Rephrase.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 07:08, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• It should also be noted that... Delete.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 05:27, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...this precedent... Precedent is not the best term in context.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 05:57, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...while the head of the dynasty and the empire, as well as the person on whom the world's attention was focused,... Rephrase.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 15:47, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Although the emperor thanked him for his concern, he did not allow himself to be swayed from his plans. Rephrase.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 15:47, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...by the a supervising secretary... The or a? Is this a civil or military office?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:54, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• A link to palanquin?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 05:27, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Introduce Yanghe.
• ...which was already in Chinese territory. Already?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 05:27, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Who is Hongxi Emperor?
• This left the soldiers with only a few hours between 1 and 4 August to prepare for the march. I do not understand.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 15:19, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...it is believed... By whom?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 15:19, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...the fallen soldiers from the battle... Rephrase.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 11:55, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Decide whether "the emperor" or "the Emperor".
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:11, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...more soldiers died from starvation than from skirmishes with the enemy. Why?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 11:55, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Unfortunately,... Delete.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:36, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Introduce Yao'erling.
• Introduce Tumu.
• It is believed... By whom?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:36, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Unfortunately,... Delete.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:36, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Despite offers to negotiate... By whom?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:36, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...the Mongols seized a large amount of weapons and equipment, resulting in the deaths of many Chinese soldiers I am not sure that I understand.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:51, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...one of the Ming officers killed Wang Zhen. Why?
• Surprisingly,... Delete.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:36, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• ...decided to inform the Ming side... Of what?
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 06:36, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• I have not read section "Aftermath", but it should either drastically be shortened, or split into subsections. Borsoka (talk) 02:12, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  @Borsoka Some of the points mentioned above have been revised, and I will make edits to the remaining points as soon as possible. Min968 (talk) 16:12, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  Thank you. I will be on holiday for some days, so I will continue the review next year. Borsoka (talk) 17:11, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

• File:Tumu Crisis.jpg: a reliable source is needed to verify the map at Commons.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 16:40, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• File:MongolArcher.jpg: a reliable source is needed at Commons; US PD tag is missing.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 12:19, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• File:1639 Ming musketry volley formation.jpg: a reliable source is needed at Commons.
  • Removed. Min968 (talk) 03:00, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Could you add at least one image? Borsoka (talk) 01:38, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Borsoka (talk) 14:27, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

• Academic sources are cited. Although tertiary sources are also cited, the text is verified primarily by secondary sources.
• Either add location to each title, or delete it everywhere.
  • Done. Min968 (talk) 03:04, 23 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• • Page ranges are needed for Chan and Twitchett. Borsoka (talk) 01:38, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Borsoka (talk) 14:30, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]