This George Harrison-related article is within the scope of WikiProject The Beatles, which focuses on improving coverage of English rock band The Beatles and related topics on Wikipedia. Users who are willing to participate in the project should visit the project page, where they can join and see a list of open tasks.The BeatlesWikipedia:WikiProject The BeatlesTemplate:WikiProject The BeatlesThe Beatles
Other :Project: Add {{WikiProject The Beatles}} to the talk pages of all Beatles-related articles. Send a newsletter to members, canvas for new members and coordinate tasks. Enter articles assessed as stubs onto this list, also list articles needing cleanup and other work here.
This article does not yet have a related to do list. If you can think of any ways to improve the article, why not create one?
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Women in Music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Women in music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Women in MusicWikipedia:WikiProject Women in MusicTemplate:WikiProject Women in MusicWomen in music
Check for Provide an accessible overview (MOS:INTRO): Done
Major Point 1: Background and composition "The lyrics to "Try Some, Buy Some" reflect Harrison's perception of God amid temptations associated with the material world and take the form of a recollection of his first spiritual awakening." (not a concise summary of the corresponding section in the body)
Major Point 2: Planned Ronnie Spector solo album "" (not a concise summary of the corresponding section in the body)
Major Point 2.1: Recording Major portion in the lead (not a concise summary of the corresponding section in the body and should be compressed.)
Major Point 2.2: Single release "" (not a concise summary of the corresponding section in the body)
Major Point 2.3: Reissue "Having long been unavailable following its initial release, Ronnie Spector's version was reissued in 2010 on the compilation Come and Get It: The Best of Apple Records." (not a concise summary of the corresponding section in the body)
Major Point 3: George Harrison's version "After the single became only a minor hit, Harrison added his own vocal onto the same instrumental track and included the result on his 1973 album Living in the Material World." (not a concise summary of the corresponding section in the body)
Major Point 3.1: Release "" (not a concise summary of the corresponding section in the body)
Major Point 3.2: Reception "" (not a concise summary of the corresponding section in the body)
Major Point 4: Cover versions "A longtime admirer of the song, David Bowie covered "Try Some, Buy Some" on his 2003 album Reality." (summarised well in the lead)
Check for Relative emphasis: Done
Major Point 1: Background and composition "The lyrics to "Try Some, Buy Some" reflect Harrison's perception of God amid temptations associated with the material world and take the form of a recollection of his first spiritual awakening." (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body)
Major Point 2: Planned Ronnie Spector solo album "first released in 1971 as a single by former Ronettes lead … " (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body)
Major Point 2.1: Recording Major portion in the lead (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body and should be compressed.)
Major Point 2.2: Single release "" (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body)
Major Point 2.3: Reissue "Having long been unavailable following its initial release, Ronnie Spector's version was reissued in 2010 on the compilation Come and Get It: The Best of Apple Records." (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body)
Major Point 3: George Harrison's version "After the single became only a minor hit, Harrison added his own vocal onto the same instrumental track and included the result on his 1973 album Living in the Material World." (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body)
Major Point 3.1: Release "" (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body)
Major Point 3.2: Reception "" (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body)
Major Point 4: Cover versions "A longtime admirer of the song, David Bowie covered "Try Some, Buy Some" on his 2003 album Reality." (the lead does not give due weight as is given in the body)
"Try Some, Buy Some" is a song written by English musician George Harrison, first released in 1971 as a single by former Ronettes lead singer Ronnie Spector.
Definition and notability should be in the first sentence (WP:BETTER). As per WP:LEADSENTENCE, The article should begin with a short declarative sentence, answering two questions for the nonspecialist reader: "What (or who) is the subject?" and "Why is this subject notable?".
The part "first released in 1971 as a single by former Ronettes lead singer Ronnie Spector" should not be in the first sentence. I feel the notability should be included here.
Check for Format of the first sentence (MOS:BOLDTITLE): Done
Check for Proper names and titles: Done
Check for Abbreviations and synonyms (MOS:BOLDSYN): None
I'm glad to see your work here. I do have some insights based on the above checklist that I think will improve the article:
I think the lead can be improved in order to provide an accessible overview and to give relative emphasis.
Besides that, I think the article looks excellent. You've done great work, and I am quite happy to assist you in improving it. All the best, --Seabuckthorn♥02:39, 4 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Hi JG66! I hope you are watching this page and have not forgotten about this article. As a gentle reminder, I'm putting the article on hold. I hope you don't mind. All the best! --Seabuckthorn♥01:58, 11 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Ah sorry Seabuckthorn, I thought you'd be watching the article also, but I should have replied here anyway. I've made a few changes there. It's a tough one: I'm thinking some further cuts might be necessary in the main text, and/or I should completely rewrite the lead from scratch … Any thoughts on progress so far would be very welcome! Best, JG66 (talk) 02:04, 11 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Hi again. I've done a bit more work on the lead without resorting to the more drastic steps mentioned above. I really think that's all I can do (that is, unless I start deleting points from the main text). I appreciate your patience through all this – what do you think of the lead as it is now? JG66 (talk) 04:34, 11 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]