Langbahn Team – Weltmeisterschaft

Talk:Strawberry/GA2

GA nomination successful following prompt improvements

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Nominator: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 14:32, 6 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 04:00, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this one up. You can expect my first batch of comments to be up within a few days. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 04:00, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks. The article has been carefully reworked and I hope you'll be happy with it, but I'm used to working with reviewers and will get to any issues promptly. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:30, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
You're welcome, now to start with the infobox and lead section.

Infobox

Removed the second one.

Lead

  • "The garden strawberry (or simply strawberry; Fragaria × ananassa) is a widely grown hybrid species of the genus Fragaria in the rose family, Rosaceae, collectively known as the strawberries, which are cultivated worldwide for their fruit."..... That seems like a run-on sentence, and either way is quite a mouthful!
    • Rewritten.
  • You can safely split "Botanically, the strawberry is not a berry but an aggregate accessory fruit; each apparent 'seed' on the outside of the strawberry is actually an achene, a botanical fruit with a seed inside it." by replacing the semi-colon into a period.
    • Done. I've no idea why folks don't like the semicolon, as it's useful and goes naturally with the flow. Maybe this is a Brit thing.
  • "It has been understood to symbolize the ephemerality of earthly joys, or the benefit that blessed souls get from religion, or to allegorize death and resurrection; by the late 20th century, it had come to symbolize female sexuality."..... Also too much for one sentence. The semi-colon here should be a period instead.
    • Done.
  • Be consistent with whether this article uses American spellings or British spellings. The lead currently implements the former with "ize" words and the latter with "colour" as well as "flavourings".
    • Fixed to Brit. Actually this Brit uses "colour" and "ize" quite naturally and consistently; some call that "Oxford English" but in truth it's in wide usage in this country.

More to follow later. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 01:09, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

SNUGGUMS? Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:49, 12 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
About to resume! SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 17:04, 12 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Evolution

History and taxonomy

  • The first sentence is another run-on with its dubious semi-colon separation at "strawberries from the forests; the plants were propagated asexually". Let your readers pause for a bit before continuing onto propagation.
    • Ah, that's British English, where the semicolon is a normal separator.
  • Same goes for the F. virginiana and F. chiloensis parts being separated by a semi-colon instead of a period. These also are separate points and thus it makes more sense to give them their own sentences. If this was done to avoid starting both with "F." prefixes, then just rearrange and maybe replace some words.
    • As above, this reads really well in BE, I just read it out to myself and if it had been punctuated any other way, I'd have corrected it to this. The second half follows as a consequence of the first, confirming the correctness of the French gardeners' guess, with happy results.
  • Per WP:REPCITE, you don't have to use the same citation more than once in a row within a paragraph. This comes off as repetitive and means the first paragraph only needs to use "STRAWBERRY, THE MAIDEN WITH RUNNERS" (ref#3) at the end of "bore abundant fruits".
    • Done.
  • The second paragraph starts three consecutive sentences with "In *year*", and I recommend tweaking them to avoid monotonous structure.
  • I couldn't find Philip Miller or any mention of Chelsea within Harold A. Johnson's "The Contributions of Private Strawberry Breeders" (ref#4, which is a PDF) when England is brought up. However, both are contained within ref#3, so maybe bundle them?
    • Ah, it got separated. Fixed.
  • "Modern strawberries and both parent species" gives me pause as "modern" is subject to eventually change per MOS:RELTIME. It doesn't help that your basis was something from 2014, and you'd be better off with a set timeframe instead.
    • Not really in this case, "modern" means from the 18th century or so when the hybridisation occurred, as described in the history section.

Phylogeny

  • Out of curiosity, was the unspecified "at least 11 other" bit used simply because their names aren't known, or because you couldn't find images for them?
    • No; they're omitted as not specially relevant to F. x ananassa, being distantly related, and so numerous as to clutter and overwhelm the tree to no benefit: this isn't an article on diversity in Fragaria.

Description

I'll let you get through these before I start the "Composition" section. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 17:04, 12 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

SNUGGUMS: All done to date.

Composition

Nutrition

  • What are the "(table)" parts supposed to mean?
    • They indicate that the data are presented and cited in the table; the table citations are more or less inaccessible for normal editing. This is standard in food and agriculture articles; there are editors who update these tables regularly.

Phytochemicals

  • More WP:REPCITE with the second paragraph; ref#15 ("Dimeric anthocyanins from strawberry (Fragaria ananassa) consisting of pelargonidin 3-glucoside covalently linked to four flavan-3-ols") just needs to be placed at the end of "dimeric anthocyanins".
  • Done.

Flavour and fragrance

  • No prose issues!
    • Noted.

Allergy

  • Not sure whether it's because the link redirects to this instead of whatever else you intended, but I don't see any mention of strawberries there, so a different source is needed for anaphylactoid reactions.
    • Archived.
  • Another case of WP:REPCITE with ref#25 ("The Strawberry Fruit Fra a Allergen Functions in Flavonoid Biosynthesis"); just put it at the end of "strawberry allergy sufferers" (which would read better as "those with strawberry allergies" or "people allergic to strawberries").
    • Done.

Varieties

  • It looks like "everbearing" strawberries shouldn't have the hyphen you implemented for it (based on what the attributed article uses)
    • Fixed.

Once these are done, "Cultivation" will be up next. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 21:05, 12 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

SNUGGUMS - all done. Maybe you could complete the pass through the rest of the text now? Chiswick Chap (talk) 12:34, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
My next batch of comments will be up within 24 hours once I get the chance, though I can't guarantee all remaining sections would be done in one go. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 13:07, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Many thanks! Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:11, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Cultivation

Production

  • Having one-sentence paragraphs is subpar when they make the flow of text feel choppy. Either expand the first one in this subsection or merge it with other text.
    • Done.
  • Be consistent with whether you spell out "percent" or use the % symbol here
    • Done.

Manuring and harvesting

  • Let's be more specific and say half a stem (per used source) remains attached when being harvested
    • Done.

Domestic cultivation

  • Flawless subsection!
    • Thanks!

Pests and diseases

  • It's actually above 200 species, not merely "around". To give readers a clearer sense of this, you can go with "More than" or "Over".
    • Done.
  • More WP:REPCITE with "Strawberry Diseases" (ref#57) in the second paragraph; it can safely be removed from the "slime molds" and "nematodes" when already covered under the "leather rot" bit.
    • Done.

Disease resistance and protection

  • The WP:REPCITE continues with both paragraphs in this section, meaning you can just have ref#59 at the end of the first and ref#60 only is needed at the end of the second
    • Done.

Culinary use

  • The file source for File:Strawberries and cream Wimbledon 2014.jpg unfortunately gives me an 404 error. If you can't replace or fix the URL, then get a different image altogether.
    • The Commons page states that the image source was reviewed on 6 July 2014 and confirmed as CC-by-2.0, so the image is safe.
  • Prose looks fine

We're almost there! I should get the rest of this whenever I next am able to post here. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 00:27, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks.

In art and literature

  • There's nothing in ref#68 (Walter S. Gibson's "The Strawberries of Hieronymus Bosch") I could find that discusses the bits on Virgil, Richard III, Othello, medieval settings, or Virgin Mary. You'll need something else for those.
    • Ah, that's Ross 1960, cited on the next line. I've repeated the ref.
  • It also says "frolicking nude figures" instead of "frolicking male nudes".
    • Fixed.
  • I again am skeptical about using "modern" as you did with "Modern scholars". It's even more likely this time to be outdated per MOS:RELTIME when from a 2003 source rather than a 2014 one.
    • Edited.
  • "Clement Wertheim-Aymes" → "Clément Wertheim-Aymes" (per source used)
    • Accented.
  • I'm getting errors when I try to load the file source for File:Still Life with Strawberry Basket.jpg, making it hard to verify age and copyright status, so take out the image unless that URL can be replaced or fixed.
    • The image is properly licensed, and is certainly of the stated age (19th C.: Roesen died in 1872) so its PD status is not in doubt. This does not depend on the club's URL at the time of uploading.
  • and it looks dubious for the latter's caption to use single quotation marks (') instead of double quotation marks (") when mentioning "Strawberry Thief".
    • Fixed.

See also

References

  • "Nvsuk.org.uk" → "National Vegetable Society"
    • Done. I'll note that this is outwith the GAN criteria, which only require refs to be identifiable.
  • "FDA" is redundant for ref#9 when Food and Drug Administration already gets mentioned without misusing italics
    • This is supplied by the standard template, not by this article; the two texts are author and publisher respectively, and just happen to be the same.
  • Ref#21 is missing its author George Dvorsky
    • Added.
  • Use the full first name for ref#22's Deborah Cassell, not just the "D." initial
    • Done. Again, this is outwith the GAN criteria.
  • Remove the dubious "Idea TV GmbH" from ref#27, also "Innovations-report.com" should read as "Innovations Report"
    • Done both.
  • Ref#64 should read "It's Mama's Kitchen" and needs to have Douglas Muster as its author
    • Done

Overall

  • Prose: Not quite there yet
  • Referencing: Some citations aren't formatted properly, plus there's some unsupported text (which I just noticed includes mentions of "juice", "milkshakes", and "pies" in the lead without anything to back that up within the body)
    • formats: see above.
    • lead: fixed.
  • Coverage: This appears to be sufficiently broad with no excess details
  • Neutrality: As far as I can tell, the text contains no bias
  • Stability: Zero concerns here as all changes lately have been in accordance with this review
  • Media: Certain images aren't up to par
  • Verdict: Starting now, I'm placing the nomination on hold for seven days. If my remaining concerns are addressed within that time, then I'll have no qualms passing it. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 01:19, 17 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
    SNUGGUMS - I've responded to all those. Chiswick Chap (talk) 10:21, 17 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Quelle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Strawberry/GA2