Langbahn Team – Weltmeisterschaft

Talk:Cyclone Gretelle

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Cyclone Gretelle/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 18:13, 10 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Hurricanehink! I will be reviewing this article you nominated, Cyclone Gretelle. Judging by your past GANs, this shouldn't take too long to review. If you have any questions, refer to my talk page, contact me on Facebook, or IRC.--12george1 (talk) 18:13, 10 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Gretelle developed from the intertropical convergence zone on January 19, and gradually intensified while moving southwestward." - The ITCZ developed into Gretelle? Maybe say "within" the ITCZ or "from a disturbance" in the ITCZ.
  • "wind gusts and heavy rainfall in mountain regions." - Not sure about this, but I think it should be "mountainous regions"
  • The lead is oddly structured. Why do you have MH and impact for Réunion and Mozambique mixed together in the first paragraph, but just impact in Madagascar in the second paragraph? Maybe just make a paragraph for MH and a paragraph for impact?
  • "the MFR upgraded Gretelle to tropical cyclone status, or with 10–minute 10–minute sustained winds of at least 120 km/h (75 mph)." - "10-minute 10-minute sustained winds"? Never heard of such a thing! :P
  • "wind peak of 215–km/h (130 mph) at 0600 UTC on January 24" - What's with that dash in there?
  • "Although it approached southeastern Africa on January 28, an approaching trough turned the storm to the southeast." - It might be a bit confusing having two "approached"/"approaching"s in there. Maybe re-word the first part to something like, "Although the storm headed toward southeastern Africa on January 28". Unless, of course, you have another "approach" to this situation. :P
  • "Gretelle dissipated on January 31 well to the south of Madagascar." - But the lead said southwest of Madagascar
  • Impact and aftermath is good! :)
  • In regards to references from ReliefWeb, why didn't you add |work= ? For example, on reference #5, I think you should add |work=United Nations Department of Humanitarian Affairs.
  • You accessed reference #15 in the future? It says "Retrieved 2014-01-27." :P

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