Langbahn Team – Weltmeisterschaft

Talk:Battle of the Dalmatian Channels/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:14, 16 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:14, 16 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • No problems with external links, no DABs, one overlink (Split).
  • Images appropriately licensed.
  • Link strait
  • The battle caused the deaths of 22 Yugoslav Navy crewmen, two Croatian gunners, and two civilian sailors in Split. Probably better rephrased as: "During the battle ... were killed."
  • Conversions only necessary on first use.
  • Tell the read what the special forces were much earlier.
  • The TGs were named Kaštela, Vis and Ploče tactical groups Integrate the names into the preceding sentence.
  • It was much easier to add the missing "the"s than to list them this time.
  • What do you mean here? from Croatian coastal artillery to no response from the targeted areas
  • against VPBR-31 Split,[22] attributed to the Marinča Rat based How about "on" VPBR-31, "that" was attributed... and add a hyphen between "Rat" and "based".
  • shortest available route to Vis may be mined Hyphenate shortest-available and change "may be" to "was" or "might be".
  • Yugoslav Air Force J-21 Jastrebs flying low over Brač change "flying" to "flew"
  • This is awkward: The battle ended as a failure of the Yugoslav Navy,[33] and its fleet never returned north of the Split
  • a helicopter sortied from the island "that" sortied
  • Capitalize channels: days of the Battle of the Dalmatian channels--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:30, 24 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thank you for taking up the review and the copyedits you already made. I tried to address the above issues, but I'm not quite sure I got the "special forces" issue quite correctly. Could you take another look at that point and let me know if you wanted me to make another type of change in that respect. Regarding capitalisation of "channels" in the name of the battle: The caps are now added in the "aftermath" section as instructed by the final point of the review. Does that mean that the word in the lead should be capitalised as well and the article moved to a new title containing the capitalised "Dalmatian Channels"? Thanks!--Tomobe03 (talk) 09:39, 24 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Once I'm finished with this nom, go ahead and move the article to Battle of the Dalmatian Channels as it's a proper noun and every major word gets capitalized, just the the War of Jenkin's Ear, etc. But go ahead and fix the capitalization in the lede; I didn't even notice that it wasn't capitalized there or in the article name. I think that it's better to call the special forces "naval commandos" from the beginning, just be sure to link to the proper type of commando. Take care of these issues and we'll be done.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:09, 24 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Quelle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Battle_of_the_Dalmatian_channels/GA1