Langbahn Team – Weltmeisterschaft

Talk:Ala al-Dawla Bozkurt/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Aintabli (talk · contribs) 03:01, 29 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Cplakidas (talk · contribs) 20:54, 27 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Will take this on over the following days. Constantine 20:54, 27 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Cplakidas: Hi Constantine, hope you're doing well. It's been a bit since you left the comment, so wanted to offer a gentle nudge. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 20:45, 30 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
    a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
  • Did quite a few copyedits for prose style and added some links, to avoid going through every small change here. Feel free to revert/discuss below.
Lede
  • was the ruler of Dulkadir from late 1480 until his death please provide some localization, e.g. 'ruler of Dulkadir in southeastern Anatolia'
     Done
  • In response, Bozkurt besieged Malatya... In response to what? It might be redundant IMO.
    It would be in response to the Mamluks' protection of Cem Sultan, but I removed "in response".
  • Ali is given as successor, but in the Battle of Turnadağ article the Dulkadirid beylik is shown as being annexed as a sanjak with Ali as an Ottoman sanjakbey.
    That article is barely sourced. Sources do not seem to have a clear view on the status of Ali within the Ottomans. Yinanç, one of the most prominent sources on this topic, refers to the Dulkadirids as "independent or autonomous" on page 105. But as a future note, I may fill this gap with more sources on the subject. Aintabli (talk) 21:11, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Background
  • Relink Turkmen to Turkoman (ethnonym)?
    Since the term is presented as an alternative for Oghuz, I believe linking the ethnonym would be more appropriate if the term is specifically being discussed. Let me know if you disagree.
  • The start of Budak's second reign is given in the regnal dates as 1472, but Suwar's is shown ending in 1473.
    That is likely a typo. I do not remember any sources that list it as 1473. (Venzke, the cited source here, shows 1472 as the end date.) Aintabli (talk) 16:35, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lede is a bit short and scarcely covers some sections, especially 'First Ottoman–Mamluk War'.
Early life
  • Bozkurt was born in 1428. mention his parentage and his relationship to Suwar and Budak
    Mentioned his father again in the Early life section. Touched on his relationship to his brothers in the Background section. Aintabli (talk) 17:31, 21 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Five years later, Bozkurt returned to the Ottoman realm following the crushing defeat of Shah Suwar by the Mamluks when was this exactly? The previous chronological mentions are insufficient for the reader to determine this. Also, what was the reason he returned to the Ottoman domains?
    1472, added "hostile" before the Mamluks to indicate that his allegiance at the time lay with the Ottomans.
  • after raiding in the region of Sivas, Bozkurt's wife and son were captured by the sanjak-bey Mihaloghlu Ali Bey the wording suggests that Bozkurt's wife and son were doing the raiding, is that correct? Is this Ali the same as Mihaloğlu Ali Bey? The context of this episode is also a bit unclear: where was Bozkurt at the time? The last mention is that he was in Ottoman lands, so why would Ali attack his family? It should also be mentioned that Ali was an Ottoman commander, and a gloss provided to sanjak-bey and sanjak.
    So, I checked the sources again, and it seems I have messed up the events detailed in Yinanç (p. 78). I have now clarified it. Let me know if there's anything that remains unclear.
  • Mehmed II strove to enthrone Bozkurt after he received an unfriendly response from Qaitbay when he brought up his earlier promise of leaving his realm to the Ottomans in exchange for their help against Shah Suwar. who are the 'he' and 'his' here? I cannot understand who promised what.
    Reworded to Mehmed II strove to enthrone Bozkurt after receiving Qaitbay dismissed his earlier promise of leaving his realm to the Ottomans in exchange for their help against Shah Suwar.
  • Gloss kapıcıbaşı, jereed
     Done
  • to be played with them with the heads as targets, presumably? On the other hand, who sent their heads to Cairo...them is somewhat superfluous for this article.
    Shortened that part.
  • though the historians of that time did not disclose the date of the encounter between the brothers hmmm, this suggests that it was deliberately not 'disclosed'. Why not simply, 'the exact date of the battle is unknown'?
    Replaced with on an unknown date.
  • Who is Ibn Tulun?
    Local (Damascene) scholar.
  • who lost the throne sometime before this date if he already requested entry into Mamluk lands in March 1480—almost a year earlier—is that not obvious? And what was he doing in the meantime?
    Removed. Aintabli (talk) 17:31, 21 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • failure to show up to defend the Mamluks at which occasion exactly?
    It was the Mamluk commander Yashbak's defeat he allegedly contributed to, but Yashbak is not mentioned anywhere. I had copy-pasted this part from my earlier work in Shah Budak, but I now see that this is out of scope for this article. I have removed this part.
  • Is there a link for Sayrafi?
    I have now removed his mention, but yes, there is apparently an article on him. The title was simply too long, so simply searching "Sayrafi" did not return anything in my case, I had to copy-paste his full name from the book. Aintabli (talk) 17:38, 21 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
First Ottoman–Mamluk War
  • granted the Mamluks various towns in northern Syria presumably in order to get recognition of his rule?
    Yup
  • afraid of getting killed why and by whom?
    By the Mamluks. Can't detail exactly why but appears to be paranoia.
  • simultaneously maintain amicable relations with the new Ottoman sultan the counterpart to the Ottoman sultan is missing here. 'simultaneously maintain amicable relations with the Mamluks and with the new Ottoman sultan'?
     Done
  • While trying to extinguish the revolt if Cem was fleeing, was the revolt not already over?
    Reworded so that they don't read as successive events but rather this one encapsulates the whole strife between Bayezid and Cem.
  • intended him to directly deal a blow to the state's southern neighbor who is the subject and who 'him' here?
    Changed to Bozkurt laid siege to the Mamluk-held city of Malatya in July 1483 in response to Mamluk harboring of Cem Sultan, either encouraged by Bayezid or intending to incite Bayezid into engaging with the souther neighbor.
  • A frontier cannot dissipate. 'Weakening', 'collapsing', or simply 'under threat'?
    Changed to When the long-time northern frontier was in jeopardy, the Mamluk army with 500 royal expeditionary forces set out for the region in August.
  • 500 royal expeditionary forces what does this mean?
    Source reads expeditionary force of some five hundred Royal Mamluks. I have quoted "expeditionary" here. I too don't know what to replace it with.
  • Gloss beylerbey, amīr silah
     Done
  • Who is Turgudoghlu Mahmud Pasha?
    A chieftain. Aintabli (talk) 18:09, 21 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hadım Ali Pasha, the beylerbey of Karaman, reported of the Mamluk forces stationed around Aleppo as well as the offensive led by the Ramadanid Eflatun Beg from the Cilician Plain and the nearby rebellion of Turgudoghlu Mahmud Pasha. The meaning and context are a bit unclear here. The Ottoman annexation of Karaman is not mentioned, and the focus should likely not be on the pasha's report, but on the fact that the Ottoman-Dulkadirid alliance faced a multiple challenge by the Mamluks, Ramadanids, and Turgudoghlu Mamhud's rebels.
    Removed the mention of Hadım Ali Pasha and reworded so that the focus is the multiple threats the allied forces faced. Aintabli (talk) 17:44, 25 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • decimating parts of the country a country cannot be decimated, a population can. 'Devastating'?
    I'm not sure if that statement is accurate. Decimate could be used for things as well. (Example) I still replaced the word, but I wanted to leave this note.
  • Links for Yakub Pasha, Turgudoghlu Mahmud Pasha, Eflatun Beg?
     Done Aintabli (talk) 20:23, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • the first clashes between the rival forces which rival forces? Ottoman and Mamluk ones or were the Dulkadirids involved as well?
    Ottoman and Mamluk
  • Qaitbay mobilized the military in Egypt, which marched north in May[2] or June 1484. Among its ranks were 500 royal mamluks this seems to be a repetition of the previous mention of 500 royal expeditionary forces? Is the chronology accurate?
    No, it's actually not. "500 royal mamluks" is mentioned on pages 124 and 125. These are two different events.
  • among whom were governors of Tripoli and Tarsus redundant, as it has been already mentioned
    Removed. Thank you for noticing.
  • The contemporary historian Idris Bitlisi narrates suggest moving this right after the mention of the defeat
     Done (Hope I got the place correct.) Aintabli (talk) 20:30, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Second Ottoman–Mamluk War
  • Give a link to the Ottoman–Mamluk War (1485–1491) article
    Added with a hatnote.
  • The Mamluks were not entirely successful in their latest victory as they had failed to eliminate Bozkurt. that is redundant, as Bozkurt's escape is already mentioned.
    Removed.
  • occupied Gülek Castle...Mamluk rule over the Cilician Plain What was the significance of the Gülek Castle? Were the Ottomans masters of the Cilician Plain after they captured the castle, or already after their previous victory at Hirman?
    Can't comment on the castle, but I appear to have missed the part that they also captured Adana and Tarsus, which are located on the Cilician Plain, but Gülek is not. The year was likely 1485, as the paragraphs sandwiching the part about the Ottoman occupation both mention this year. Aintabli (talk) 20:45, 22 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
War against Shah Budak
  • a warning sign to Ala al-Dawla be consistent in calling him either 'Ala al-Dawla' or 'Bozkurt' (or 'Ala al-Dawla Bozkurt' for that matter).
    Fixed.
  • The Ottoman forces were dependent on the naval support...near Ağaçayırı this is IMO too much detail for an article that is not primarily about the Ottomans, the war, or the respective Ottoman or Mamluk commanders. Suggest something simpler like 'The Ottoman forces were defeated by the Mamluks and their Turkmen allies on 16 August 1488 near Ağaçayırı.'
     Done
  • Links for Hiziroghlu Mehmed Pasha, Mihaloghlu Iskender Bey, Janbolat, Saru Kaplan?
     Done
  • in retribution for the treatment his son Feyyaz had received in 1484 this is not mentioned earlier, under the events of that year.
    Added. Note: The sources also do not mention it earlier.
  • gloss emir-i ahur
     Done Aintabli (talk) 17:23, 24 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • aware of the warfare that was to come explain how this led him to stay neutral, especially since in the end there was no further conflict.
    Added more details, that Bayezid was preparing for a new campaign, which could make Bozkurt the focus of the combat.
  • Bozkurt allowed a larger army under Akbirdi's command in an attempt to seize Aleppo in October the same year what exactly did he allow? And how did Akbirdi, who had no local following, raise an even larger army after his initial defeat? Were these Dulkadirid forces?
    It was the Dulkadirid army, but the reason or the exact size is not detailed in the source.
  • The section only deals with Shah Budak half-way through. Maybe retitle it or split off the second half into a new section?
     Done Aintabli (talk) 17:49, 24 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Advent of Ismail
  • Gloss divan-begi
     Done
  • with a large force composed of almost all of the young members of the Dulkadir dynasty surely the forces was not just composed of dynasty members, but rather led by or at least containing them as well?
    Replaced "composed of" with "containing"
  • Ismail entered the Ottoman domains through Erzincan and Suşehri with Bayezid's approval. To do what? Attack the Dulkadirids?
    Yes.
  • The miniature shows Alvand at Bozkurt's court, but nothing like this is mentioned in the text. Is the image poetic license, or is something missing?
    It's not explicitly mentioned in the source. Would you like me to remove it?
  • accommodated Kaitmaz accommodated is probably the wrong verb here? What exactly did he do?
    Could reinforce work?
  • Introduce Erdivane as Bozkurt's son
     Done Aintabli (talk) 17:30, 25 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
War with the Ottomans and death
  • Add regnal dates for Selim I and Qansuh al-Ghawri
     Done
  • Bozkurt had not sent any congratulatory messages to Selim for his ascension to the throne can you elaborate on the meaning of this? Is this an implicit non-recognition of Ottoman suzerainty, which Selim expected, or merely a diplomatic insult?
    The source doesn't specify it as an insult or an outright rejection of Selim's legitimacy. (I can't say there was an Ottoman suzerainty at the time.) The safest way to describe this would be as a rude gesture that contributes to their tense relation.
  • any kind of subsistence what exactly is subsistence? Are foodstuffs meant, or trade generally?
    Food and animal feed (page 96).
  • the Dulkadirids destroyed the accommodations of the Ottoman army which accommodations? Where? Surely not in Dulkadirid territory, which means the Dulkadirids invaded Ottoman territories?
    No locations or types of accommodation are named in the source, but it mentions that numerous animals died due to lack of feed, which would indicate that these accommodations included animal feed.
  • departed for Elbistan departed from where?
    Sivas Aintabli (talk) 17:49, 24 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Administration
  • Briefly gloss sharia, timar, tahrir defters
     Done
General
  • Emir al-Muminin is amir al-mu'minin, a caliphal title, so it at least should be discussed at least somewhat more; at the very least, its elevated significance should be pointed out.
    I included that it was originally a title used by the caliphs. I can't add an in-depth discussion of this title, because the source doesn't go beyond just listing it among the titles the Grand Mosque of Marash attested to. Aintabli (talk) 17:55, 24 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • De Giorgi and Eger, Melvin-Koushki, Muslu, Peirce, and Petry are listed as sources but not referenced. This makes over half the modern sources listed here, raising questions concerning points 2 and 3 of the GA criteria, especially in view of the almost exclusive reliance on Yinanç and Har-El, sources which, though academically excellent, are by now a generation old.

That's it for a first pass. Constantine 13:47, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Cplakidas Where are we at with this review? IntentionallyDense (Contribs) 17:09, 25 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I am working on it. There are only 3 points/suggestions left that I haven't addressed yet. Aintabli (talk) 17:32, 25 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]