Langbahn Team – Weltmeisterschaft

Talk:Ajax II

Former good article nomineeAjax II was a Sports and recreation good articles nominee, but did not meet the good article criteria at the time. There may be suggestions below for improving the article. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
June 5, 2011Good article nomineeNot listed

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Ajax II/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:57, 1 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:57, 1 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

  • Ref #10 needs publisher info, accessdate, etc.
  • Ref #12 doesn't snow anything, so needs to be replaced.
  • "before he was defeated at the extraordinary odds of 40/1 on, causing a huge racing sensation." huh?
  • "equalled to Australasian record for a mile" the australasian record?
  • Not a fan of so many bulleted lists, particularly in an article of this size. Any chance on being able to at least convert the first into prose?
  • "He was a chestnut colt" Should be Ajax, since it's starting off the first section.
  • "Ajax was by the great racehorse and sire, Heroic, his dam," and his dam
  • "Ajax was ridden by Victoria’s leading jockey and Australian Racing Hall of Fame inductee, the diminutive Harold Badger," I'm seeing a lot of sentences like these and it's giving me pause. In this one, take out diminutive, and try avoiding spicing up the language, as it's ironically taking away from the article.
  • "and the AJC Champagne Stakes from Hua by a margin of two lengths.[5]" huh? no mention of a Hua elsewhere in the section so this makes for a confusing sentence. It's used a couple other times so if it's a horse racing term, or a competing horse, link and/or clarify. On top of that no reason to have the preceding part in parentheses.
  • "he was defeated, by a length, by Avenger," to Avenger, and remove the first two commas.
  • "11 starts for 9 wins and 2 seconds." 2 places is better lingo here, even though it's technically jargon.
  • "when at 40/1 on, in a three horse race where he went down to Spear Chief by half a length.[7] [6]" remove the comma and space between refs, and i'm still confused as to what the 40/1 means. I'm sure it's not the odds since there's no way he's 40/1 with how good he was.
  • "Ajax finished his a four-year-old season" his four
  • "Ajax is the shortest-priced favourite ever defeated in Australia." A bit confused as to what this sentence means as well in comparison to the rest of the section.
  • "but he did sire Avracado $71,813, Trebor Yug $19,420 and A. Jaxson $11,444" adding the totals seems to throw off the flow where they are; modify or remove.
  • "All this justified Ajax’s inclusion" Can just say that he was inducted.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to fail this as a GA. I hate doing so, especially given the GAN backlog, but the problems I found alone are rather severe. After all this is fixed, I'd go through WP:GOCE for a copyedit before renominating. It could be good, but it's definitely not there yet. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 03:26, 5 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"40/1 on" is not the same as "40/1 against". 40/1 on means you have to bet $40 to win $1 - i.e. a very short "odds on" favourite thus the big sensation when Ajax was beaten at this price. Wizardman is confusing this with "40/1 against" which means that if you bet $1 you win $40 which is what most people mean when they say 40/1. They mean 40/1 against which means the horse is quite a long price & not expected to win. Ngsn1 (talk) 10:53, 30 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Australasian record means that this race was run in the fastest time for this race distance in Australia or New Zealand Ngsn1 (talk) 10:56, 30 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Wizardman is wrong. 2 seconds is not necessarily the same as 2 places as "place' means finishing second or third in Australian racing. Two seconds is technically correct.

Hua is the horse that ran second to Ajax.

The horse was called Ajax in Australian and was known as Ajax II when he went to stud in the USA so he wouldn't be confused with another French horse named Ajax. Ngsn1 (talk) 11:06, 30 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Placed

Wizardman is wrong! "Place" isn't just jargon, it's North-American-Specific, and should be avoided when it means "finished second". In Europe "place" means that a horse finished second, third or (in very large fields), fourth.Tigerboy1966 (talk) 15:24, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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