Langbahn Team – Weltmeisterschaft

Talk:7 Things/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: --Legolas (talk2me) 09:17, 11 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Quick-fail

Thanks for the review- I'm co-nomming with Ipodnano05 (talk · contribs). I've just checked out the external links, and it looks like there are no dead links. Of the redirects, iTunes must be a redirect as it opens up to a statement in the iTunes store (it references an extended play sold exclusively by iTunes). I've replaced the music notes, although the direct url was already in place. It may be that the redirect is due to musicnotes viewer, but I can archive it if you'd like. I've archived the expiring oregon newspaper ref, so that's taken care of. Liqudluck✽talk 12:04, 11 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Nvm, went ahead and archived musicnotes- so  Done, I think.

GA review

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    The online publications are not italicized, please remove italicization from them
 Done
  1. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  2. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  3. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  4. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    Please add alternate text for all the images. --Legolas (talk2me) 09:58, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    Still not done. --Legolas (talk2me) 08:46, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  1. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Waiting for the quick fail to pass, else the article will be failed. --Legolas (talk2me) 09:17, 11 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK here's the raw deal with the article, problems are with prose and MOS violations. I'll point them out.

lead
  1. It was released on June 17, 2008 as the lead single of the Cyrus' sophomore album, Breakout, by Hollywood Records --> It was released on June 17, 2008, by Hollywood Records, as the lead single of the Cyrus' sophomore album, Breakout.
 Done
  1. Cyrus developed the song during the Best of Both Worlds Tour, feeling many different emotions --> The song was developed from the different emotions that Cyrus felt during the Best of Both Worlds Tour.
 Done
  1. came allegations that it --> allegations came
 Done Changed to "the song's release brought allegations" instead.
  1. The music of --> Musically
 Done
  1. to the song's refrain --> in the song's refrain
 Done
  1. certified gold the --> by the
 Done
  1. In the United States, the song peaked at number nine on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming Cyrus' best-charting effort at the time. --> Remove and combine the next paragraph to this one, its WP:UNDUE.
 Done
  1. 2008 and 2009 --> wikilink them to the award shows.
✗ Not done I think that would violate WP:EGG. Liquidluck✽talk 22:24, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
No. Because you haven't linked them previously. --Legolas (talk2me) 08:46, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Actually, WP:EGG describes piped wikilinks- it says that a reader should always know exactly what they are clicking on before they click. A reader clicking 2008 would expect to be taken to the year article. I could wikilink 2009 award show, but I can't find a way to accurately phrase the 2008 link and I think the links should be parallel. Still, MTV music awards are linked and the specific shows are linked in the music vid section, so do you think it is alright to leave it? Liquidluck✽talk 21:23, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
background
  1. 7 Things" is also under the legal title of "Seven Things I Hate About You", as registered by Broadcast Music Incorporated (BMI --> 7 Things" is also registered under the legal title of "Seven Things I Hate About You", by Broadcast Music Incorporated (BMI --> remove teh rest. UNDUE
{{not done-t}} If you mean delete "one of the three performing rights organizations in the U.S.", I think it provides necessary context isn't we Liquidluck✽talk 22:24, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The wikilink on BMI should direct to the article which has the content. This is actually a kind of redundancy which would derail this article hsould you try to present it to FAC. Try User:Tony's second article. --Legolas (talk2me) 08:46, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Liquidluck✽talk 23:34, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Cyrus "got to turn the lights down and [...] really get into the song" --> rephrase and remove the quotes.
{{not done-t}} That's actually a quote by Cyrus. I wasn't sure what she meant, so I just put in exactly what she said. Do you have an idea about how to rephrase it? Liquidluck✽talk 22:24, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
She means that she had to concentrate on the song more than necessary, given that it was inspired by her romantic associations. --Legolas (talk2me) 08:46, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Thanks. Liquidluck✽talk 05:26, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  1. broadcast of the --> broadcast on the

✗ Not done The Elvis Duran and the Morning Show is a radio show, not a tv show, so I don't believe changing it would be gramatically correct. Liquidluck✽talk 21:23, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  1. Cyrus wrote about their relationship on her autobiography Miles to Go, referring to Jonas as "Prince Charming".[8] In the acknowledgments section of the Breakout liner notes, Cyrus writes, "And last but not least, my prince charming… You know who you are. Thank you for inspiring me for this record. I loved you then. I love you now, & I’ll love you always."[9] --> What is the relationship of these two lines with the song? Please remove
{{not done-t}} Cyrus never said the song was about Nick Jonas, but she refers to him as Prince Charming in her autobiography and says the song was inspired by a "Prince Charming", making the comment the biggest clue that the song is actually about Jonas. I'll still delete it if you'd like. Liquidluck✽talk 22:28, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
It still remains a case of WP:CRYSTAL. --Legolas (talk2me) 08:46, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Can you please clarify how it violates CRYSTAL? Liquidluck✽talk 21:23, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Because Cyrus never personally clarified that the song was about Jonas. She, however, clarified that the song was inspired from a romantic association. Hence, deducing the liner notes as being referring to Jonas is our deduction and hence is a case of WP:CRYSTAL and WP:OR. We cannot deduce from the bio that both the Prince Charming's are the same person. We cannot accept clues here, hence the CRYSTALBALL comes. --Legolas (talk2me) 05:22, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Fair enough, I'll remove it. Liquidluck✽talk 05:28, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Tiger Beat magazine made the assertion, but I guess a teen magazine isn't an incredibly reliable source. Liquidluck✽talk 05:30, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Composition
  1. In addition, song's verses are tinged with country while the refrains bear pop punk aspects. --> According to whom?
 Done, sort of. I added the name Sal Cinquemani of Slant, but that makes it sound as though Sal's the only person who believes this, which isn't true- country and pop punk are named in a number of reviews. I don't believe adding a giant list of names would be appropriate (A la "Reviewer A, B, C, D, E, and F all noted the pop punk in the song", since at that point it would be clear every reviewer heard the genres but just didn't comment on it. What if I just used a pile of refs at the end of the sentence, and didn't name any names? Liquidluck✽talk 05:13, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
You can rephrase like "A number of reviewers pointed out that.." --Legolas (talk2me) 05:22, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Sounds good. Liquidluck✽talk 05:28, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  1. calls --> called
 Done
  1. in general make everything past tense.
 Done
critical
  1. fine.
Thank you! Liquidluck✽talk 21:23, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
chart
  1. ref 29 doesnot work
It does work for me, check again. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 23:21, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, it works for me too. Liquidluck✽talk 21:28, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  1. for the sales of over 35,000 copies --> its not sales, its shipments based on which certifications are given
 Done
music video
  1. Ratner said he was impressed with Cyrus' instinct; he also felt the boots were not appropriate and was going to tell her to change them before she did it on her own.[3] --> Please remove, a clear violation of WP:PEACOCK.
 Done
  1. The last para, make it into a subsection called "Reception". Too much info in a single one.
 Done
  1. minues the eyeliner --> ???
 Done (if you mean the typo)
  1. again, consider revising in past sense to maintain cohesion
 Done
live performance
  1. Cyrus performed the song in an outdoor --> She also per...

 Done

  1. basically the first para is just a junk of names of the venues she performed, hence date is exactly not necessary and they can be listed. Like Cyrus performed the song in ........

 Done got rid of most of the dates; kept some when necessary to keep the paragraph interesting.

tracklisting
  1. fine
Thank you! Liquidluck✽talk 21:23, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
charts
  1. remove the single certification table, already mentioned in chart section
 Done

So here are all the things I noticed about the article + those mentioned in the tick-boxes. Please correct them and lemme know. --Legolas (talk2me) 09:58, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Still a number of things missing. --Legolas (talk2me) 08:46, 27 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
A gross number of things pointed up in the GAR table, still needs to be done. --Legolas (talk2me) 04:41, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I left you a message on your talk page. Sorry about how much time I've been taking! Liquidluck✽talk 05:19, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The citations and Alt text are all that left. --Legolas (talk2me) 05:34, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
done with alt text, just the citations left now. Liquidluck✽talk 06:34, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Alt text looks fine. --Legolas (talk2me) 06:39, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done with citations! Liquidluck✽talk 14:44, 1 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

(Outdent)References 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 16, 23, 26, 34, 35, 38, 39, 40, 45, 46, 48, 50, 55, 56, 60-63 all needs to be changed consequently. Another thing, remove that "single" certification from the infobox. Doesnot need to be. And in the chart performance section, wikilink gold to Music recording sales certifications. --Legolas (talk2me) 04:58, 2 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, that's embarrassing (It was late at night, but still) =]. Thanks for pointing them out. I've now fixed them all (except Access Hollywood, since that's a tv show), double checked, wikilinked, and deleted as per requests. Liquidluck✽talk 04:11, 3 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah. Looks perfect now. I'm passing the article. One suggestion, try to steam-rol this baby through FA. It has high chance of being one. --Legolas (talk2me) 04:16, 3 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Quelle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:7_Things/GA1