Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: EF5 (talk · contribs) 16:10, 13 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 16:44, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Claiming this review as part of GARC, comments to come. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 16:44, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• devastating several communities along a 127.8-mile (205.7 km) path, including Cordova and Blountsville → devastating several communities, including Cordova and Blountsville, along a 127.8-mile (205.7 km) path makes more sense to me since the non-restrictive appositive refers to the communities rather than the path

@PCN02WPS:  Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• the largest tornado outbreak in modern history, and was one of eleven EF4 tornadoes → remove comma (WP:CINS)

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• where it retained EF0 and EF1 intensity → the word "retained" seems out of place here - if the tornado is strengthening, then "retained" makes it seem like it's staying the same intensity

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• it reached EF3 intensity, and heavily damaged the town → remove comma

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• The tornado was the second EF3+ tornado to hit Cordova on April 27 → readers that may be unfamiliar with the EF scale might assume that "EF3+" is a specific variant of an "EF3" rating; might want to spell it out like The tornado was the second tornado of at least EF3 intensity to hit Cordova on April 27 or something similar

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Four people were killed in the downtown area of the town → Four people were killed in downtown Cordova to eliminate repetition within that sentence (even though "Cordova" is repeated in the previous sentence)

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Meteorological synopsis

• towards the Arklatex and the Ozarks, and later into the lower Ohio Valley → I believe this can go without a comma

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• reaching the northwest Alabama border around 2:00 a.m. CDT → Might consider linking "CDT" to Central Time Zone on first mention just in case (don't have to spell it out, just a link would suffice IMO)

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• as supercells began to line up to the southwest of the area → which "area" is being referred to here?

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• upgrade to a High Risk for severe weather → does "High Risk" need to be capitalized?

 Done, fixed. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• for severe weather around 1:00 p.m. CDT → is this time referring to the time of the warning or the time of the predicted impact of the severe weather?
• be hit hours later, notably Cordova → consider including Cordova or something similar, since "notably" is included on the list of words to watch under MOS:EDITORIAL

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• rapidly intensifying to EF3 intensity → a little too repetitive (emphasis is mine)

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• The tornado damaged numerous brick buildings in the area, and uprooting several trees before lifting a short distance north of the town → remove comma before "and". The tense also changes halfway through the sentence ("and uprooted several trees" rather than "uprooting")

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Tornado summary

• retained this intensity, and widened → remove comma

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• before moving into Tuscaloosa County → remove link since Tuscaloosa County is linked in the previous paragraph

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• remaining debris being thrown a considerable distance → "considerable distance" is sort of meaningless here - is there anything quantitative that could be listed instead?

 Done, I've just removed the "considerable distance". E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• with debris thrown a considerable distance → same issue as above

 Done As above.E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• It then weakened to EF1 strength → Starting the paragraph with "The tornado" would be best

 Done. 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

• were either damaged or destroyed in this area along with many trees being downed → tense switches from past "damaged or destroyed" to present "being downed"

 Done. 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

• As it continued to the south-southwest of Garden City → As the tornado continued... as above

 Done. 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

Aftermath

• The city of Cordova was awarded $5,098,515 → consider using {{Inflation}} as follows: The city of Cordova was awarded $5,098,515 (equivalent to $6,906,000 in 2023) or something similar. This means you can remove "2011 USD" while replacing it with even more useful information. (You can copy my code if you like)

 Done. 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

• Blount County was awarded $758,572 (2011 USD). → same as above

 Done. 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

• Recovery efforts after the tornadoes continued months after the event → Recovery efforts continued for months after the tornadoes for simplicity

 Done. 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)

• numerous fires started in downtown Cordova → was this as a result of damage done by the tornado, or just a coincidence?

Started in the aftermath of the tornado (power lines, gas lines, broken pipes, etc.), but I'll note that. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• The ordinance was highly controversial, and was met with nationwide backlash → remove comma

 Done. E_F⁵ 14:06, 14 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]