List of Two and a Half Men episodes
Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom created by Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn that premiered on CBS on September 22, 2003.
On March 13, 2014, Two and a Half Men was renewed for a twelfth season, which was announced the following May to be the final season,[1] that premiered on October 30, 2014.[2][3] During the course of the series, 262 episodes of Two and a Half Men aired over twelve seasons, between September 22, 2003, and February 19, 2015.
Series overview
| Season | Episodes | Originally aired | Rank | Rating | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| First aired | Last aired | |||||
| 1 | 24 | September 22, 2003 | May 24, 2004 | 14 | 9.9 | |
| 2 | 24 | September 20, 2004 | May 23, 2005 | 11 | 10.6 | |
| 3 | 24 | September 19, 2005 | May 22, 2006 | 13 | 9.7 | |
| 4 | 24 | September 18, 2006 | May 14, 2007 | 14 | 9.1 | |
| 5 | 19 | September 24, 2007 | May 19, 2008 | 15 | 8.5 | |
| 6 | 24 | September 22, 2008 | May 18, 2009 | 12 | 9.1 | |
| 7 | 22 | September 21, 2009 | May 24, 2010 | 12 | 8.9 | |
| 8 | 16 | September 20, 2010 | February 14, 2011 | 16 | 7.7 | |
| 9 | 24 | September 19, 2011 | May 14, 2012 | 11 | 9.1 | |
| 10 | 23 | September 27, 2012 | May 9, 2013 | 10 | 8.7 | |
| 11 | 22 | September 26, 2013 | May 8, 2014 | 27 | 6.8 | |
| 12 | 16 | October 30, 2014 | February 19, 2015 | 23 | 7.5 | |
Episodes
Each episode's title is a phrase spoken by one of the characters in that episode. The three exceptions are the pilot episode and the episodes "Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor" (season 1) and "Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers" (season 2). The latter episode does fit the criterion, but the quote was part of a deleted scene which Chuck Lorre explains in the episode's vanity card.
Three episode titles are not direct quotes: "Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snootful" (season 1), "Who's Vod Kanockers?" (season 4), and "Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead" (season 8). Charlie states "I'm not going to face all those pre-pubers without a snootful", but the number twenty-five is never mentioned. Jake actually asks "Who is this Vod Kanockers that you speak of?"; however, on the DVD release, that episode is titled "Who Is This Vod Kanockers?". When Charlie sings his song called "Chocolate Diddlers", Alan only suggests that it sounds more like "My Puppy's Dead".
Season 1 (2003–04)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | "Pilot" | James Burrows | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | September 22, 2003 | 18.44[4] |
| 2 | 2 | "Big Flappy Bastards" | Andy Ackerman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jeff Abugov | September 29, 2003 | 16.18[5] |
| 3 | 3 | "Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell" | Andy Ackerman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Lee Aronsohn | October 6, 2003 | 14.82[6] |
| 4 | 4 | "If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap" | Andy Ackerman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster | October 13, 2003 | 14.73[7] |
| 5 | 5 | "The Last Thing You Want is to Wind Up with a Hump" | Andy Ackerman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jeff Abugov | October 20, 2003 | 15.24[8] |
| 6 | 6 | "Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?" | Andy Ackerman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster | October 27, 2003 | 15.82[9] |
| 7 | 7 | "If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake" | Andy Ackerman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Lee Aronsohn | November 3, 2003 | 16.02[10] |
| 8 | 8 | "Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snootful" | Chuck Lorre | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jeff Abugov | November 10, 2003 | 15.82[11] |
| 9 | 9 | "Phase One, Complete" | Andy Ackerman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster | November 17, 2003 | 15.98[12] |
| 10 | 10 | "Merry Thanksgiving" | Jay Sandrich | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 24, 2003 | 17.14[13] |
| 11 | 11 | "Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor" | Robert Berlinger | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts | December 15, 2003 | 14.77[14] |
| 12 | 12 | "Camel Filters and Pheromones" | Robert Berlinger | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Mark Roberts | January 5, 2004 | 16.75[15] |
| 13 | 13 | "Sarah Like Puny Alan" | Robert Berlinger | Story by : Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster | January 12, 2004 | 17.86[16] |
| 14 | 14 | "I Can't Afford Hyenas" | Rob Schiller | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Eddie Gorodetsky | February 2, 2004 | 16.48[17] |
| 15 | 15 | "Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick" | Andrew D. Weyman | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | February 9, 2004 | 16.96[18] |
| 16 | 16 | "That Was Saliva, Alan" | Andrew D. Weyman | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | February 16, 2004 | 17.39[19] |
| 17 | 17 | "Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats" | Andrew D. Weyman | Story by : Jeff Abugov & Eric Lapidus Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts | February 23, 2004 | 16.48[20] |
| 18 | 18 | "An Old Flame with a New Wick" | Andrew D. Weyman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts | March 1, 2004 | 17.10[21] |
| 19 | 19 | "I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You" | Gail Mancuso | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | March 22, 2004 | 16.43[22] |
| 20 | 20 | "Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Mark Roberts | April 19, 2004 | 14.58[23] |
| 21 | 21 | "No Sniffing, No Wowing" | Rob Schiller | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster | May 3, 2004 | 16.20[24] |
| 22 | 22 | "My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet" | Gail Mancuso | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky | May 10, 2004 | 16.01[25] |
| 23 | 23 | "Just Like Buffalo" | Rob Schiller | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster | May 17, 2004 | 15.20[26] |
| 24 | 24 | "Can You Feel My Finger?" | Rob Schiller | Story by : Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | May 24, 2004 | 18.16[27] |
Season 2 (2004–05)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 25 | 1 | "Back Off, Mary Poppins" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers | September 20, 2004 | 16.44[28] |
| 26 | 2 | "Enjoy Those Garlic Balls" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | September 27, 2004 | 16.44[29] |
| 27 | 3 | "A Bag Full of Jawea" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Mark Roberts | October 4, 2004 | 16.43[30] |
| 28 | 4 | "Go Get Mommy's Bra" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky | October 11, 2004 | 17.15[31] |
| 29 | 5 | "Bad News from the Clinic?" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Jeff Abugov | October 18, 2004 | 16.28[32] |
| 30 | 6 | "The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | October 25, 2004 | 17.25[33] |
| 31 | 7 | "A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Don Foster Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 8, 2004 | 16.04[34] |
| 32 | 8 | "Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Don Foster & Jeff Abugov Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 15, 2004 | 17.47[35] |
| 33 | 9 | "Yes, Monsignor" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Susan Beavers | November 22, 2004 | 18.94[36] |
| 34 | 10 | "The Salmon Under My Sweater" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 29, 2004 | 17.88[37] |
| 35 | 11 | "Last Chance to See Those Tattoos" | Pamela Fryman | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | December 13, 2004 | 16.22[38] |
| 36 | 12 | "A Lungful of Alan" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | January 3, 2005 | 18.03[39] |
| 37 | 13 | "Zejdź z Moich Włosów (a.k.a. Get Off My Hair)" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | January 17, 2005 | 18.14[40] |
| 38 | 14 | "Those Big Pink Things with Coconut" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jeff Abugov | January 31, 2005 | 17.01[41] |
| 39 | 15 | "Smell the Umbrella Stand" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers | February 7, 2005 | 16.75[42] |
| 40 | 16 | "Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers | February 14, 2005 | 16.78[43] |
| 41 | 17 | "Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | February 21, 2005 | 17.50[44] |
| 42 | 18 | "It Was 'Mame,' Mom" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts | March 7, 2005 | 17.45[45] |
| 43 | 19 | "A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | March 21, 2005 | 15.92[46] |
| 44 | 20 | "I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey" | Asaad Kelada | Story by : Susan Beavers & Jeff Abugov Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | April 18, 2005 | 17.13[47] |
| 45 | 21 | "A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | May 2, 2005 | 17.93[48] |
| 46 | 22 | "That Old Hose Bag is My Mother" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster | May 9, 2005 | 17.96[49] |
| 47 | 23 | "Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab" | J.D. Lobue | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster | May 16, 2005 | 24.24[50] |
| 48 | 24 | "Does This Smell Funny to You?" | Pamela Fryman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jeff Abugov | May 23, 2005 | 14.37[51] |
Season 3 (2005–06)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 49 | 1 | "Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts" | Gary Halvorson | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | September 19, 2005 | 15.04[52] |
| 50 | 2 | "Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | September 26, 2005 | 14.37[53] |
| 51 | 3 | "Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster | October 3, 2005 | 14.21[54] |
| 52 | 4 | "Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts | October 10, 2005 | 15.24[55] |
| 53 | 5 | "We Called It Mr. Pinky" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | October 17, 2005 | 15.56[56] |
| 54 | 6 | "Hi, Mr. Horned One" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | October 24, 2005 | 16.77[57] |
| 55 | 7 | "Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 7, 2005 | 16.19[58] |
| 56 | 8 | "That Voodoo That I Do Do" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts | November 14, 2005 | 15.17[59] |
| 57 | 9 | "Madame and Her Special Friend" | Asaad Kelada | Story by : Jeff Abugov & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 21, 2005 | 15.74[60] |
| 58 | 10 | "Something Salted and Twisted" | Rob Schiller | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 28, 2005 | 16.53[61] |
| 59 | 11 | "Santa's Village of the Damned" | Rob Schiller | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers | December 19, 2005 | 17.71[62] |
| 60 | 12 | "That Special Tug" | Rob Schiller | Story by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | January 9, 2006 | 17.20[63] |
| 61 | 13 | "Humiliation is a Visual Medium" | Rob Schiller | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | January 23, 2006 | 17.07[64] |
| 62 | 14 | "Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Jeff Abugov Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers | February 6, 2006 | 16.33[65] |
| 63 | 15 | "My Tongue is Meat" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | February 27, 2006 | 17.04[66] |
| 64 | 16 | "Ergo, the Booty Call" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers | March 6, 2006 | 17.06[67] |
| 65 | 17 | "The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | March 13, 2006 | 17.37[68] |
| 66 | 18 | "The Spit-Covered Cobbler" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | March 20, 2006 | 16.72[69] |
| 67 | 19 | "Golly Moses, She's a Muffin" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | April 10, 2006 | 14.05[70] |
| 68 | 20 | "Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster | April 24, 2006 | 14.47[71] |
| 69 | 21 | "And the Plot Moistens" | Jerry Zaks | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts | May 1, 2006 | 14.31[72] |
| 70 | 22 | "Just Once with Aunt Sophie" | Lee Aronsohn | Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre | May 8, 2006 | 14.87[73] |
| 71 | 23 | "Arguments for the Quickie" | James Widdoes | Story by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | May 15, 2006 | 11.04[74] |
| 72 | 24 | "That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster | May 22, 2006 | 15.51[75] |
Season 4 (2006–07)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 73 | 1 | "Working for Caligula" | Gary Halvorson | Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre | September 18, 2006 | 15.09[76] |
| 74 | 2 | "Who's Vod Kanockers?" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | September 25, 2006 | 15.28[77] |
| 75 | 3 | "The Sea is a Harsh Mistress" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts | October 2, 2006 | 15.80[78] |
| 76 | 4 | "A Pot Smoking Monkey" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Bill Prady & Maria Espada Pearce Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers | October 9, 2006 | 16.38[79] |
| 77 | 5 | "A Live Woman of Proven Fertility" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | October 16, 2006 | 16.25[80] |
| 78 | 6 | "Apologies for the Frivolity" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts | October 23, 2006 | 15.03[81] |
| 79 | 7 | "Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | November 6, 2006 | 14.48[82] |
| 80 | 8 | "Release the Dogs" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 13, 2006 | 15.83[83] |
| 81 | 9 | "Corey's Been Dead for an Hour" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre | November 20, 2006 | 15.04[84] |
| 82 | 10 | "Kissing Abe Lincoln" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 27, 2006 | 15.50[85] |
| 83 | 11 | "Walnuts and Demerol" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | December 11, 2006 | 15.69[86] |
| 84 | 12 | "Castrating Sheep in Montana" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | January 8, 2007 | 14.78[87] |
| 85 | 13 | "Don't Worry, Speed Racer" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | January 22, 2007 | 15.85[88] |
| 86 | 14 | "That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | February 5, 2007 | 17.68[89] |
| 87 | 15 | "My Damn Stalker" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | February 12, 2007 | 15.50[90] |
| 88 | 16 | "Young People Have Phlegm Too" | Andrew D. Weyman | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | February 19, 2007 | 16.56[91] |
| 89 | 17 | "I Merely Slept with a Commie" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | February 26, 2007 | 16.58[92] |
| 90 | 18 | "It Never Rains in Hooterville" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts | March 19, 2007 | 11.68[93] |
| 91 | 19 | "Smooth as a Ken Doll" | Gary Halvorson | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster | April 9, 2007 | 13.46[94] |
| 92 | 20 | "Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot" | Jerry Zaks | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre | April 16, 2007 | 13.03[95] |
| 93 | 21 | "Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous" | Jerry Zaks | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster | April 23, 2007 | 12.27[96] |
| 94 | 22 | "Mr. McGlue's Feedbag" | Jon Cryer | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Don Foster | April 30, 2007 | 13.71[97] |
| 95 | 23 | "Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'" | Lee Aronsohn | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts & Jim Patterson | May 7, 2007 | 13.27[98] |
| 96 | 24 | "Prostitutes and Gelato" | Ted Wass | Story by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | May 14, 2007 | 10.16[99] |
Season 5 (2007–08)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 97 | 1 | "Large Birds, Spiders and Mom" | Ted Wass | Story by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre | September 24, 2007 | 13.58[100] |
| 98 | 2 | "Media Room Slash Dungeon" | Ted Wass | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | October 1, 2007 | 13.24[101] |
| 99 | 3 | "Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo" | Ted Wass | Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre | October 8, 2007 | 13.02[102] |
| 100 | 4 | "City of Great Racks" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | October 15, 2007 | 13.69[103] |
| 101 | 5 | "Putting Swim Fins on a Cat" | James Widdoes | Story by : Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | October 22, 2007 | 13.94[104] |
| 102 | 6 | "Help Daddy Find His Toenail" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | October 29, 2007 | 13.73[105] |
| 103 | 7 | "Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room" | Ted Wass | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 5, 2007 | 13.80[106] |
| 104 | 8 | "Is There a Mrs. Waffles?" | Ted Wass | Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 12, 2007 | 14.12[107] |
| 105 | 9 | "Tight's Good" | Jean Sagal | Story by : Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | November 19, 2007 | 13.91[108] |
| 106 | 10 | "Kinda Like Necrophilia" | Ted Wass | Story by : Jim Patterson & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | November 26, 2007 | 15.26[109] |
| 107 | 11 | "Meander to Your Dander" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | March 17, 2008 | 14.06[110] |
| 108 | 12 | "A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh" | James Widdoes | Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | March 24, 2008 | 14.24[111] |
| 109 | 13 | "The Soil is Moist" | James Widdoes | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | March 31, 2008 | 14.50[112] |
| 110 | 14 | "Winky-Dink Time" | James Widdoes | Story by : Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | April 14, 2008 | 13.94[113] |
| 111 | 15 | "Rough Night in Hump Junction" | James Widdoes | Story by : Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | April 21, 2008 | 13.36[114] |
| 112 | 16 | "Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty" | Joel Zwick | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster & Susan Beavers | April 28, 2008 | 12.92[115] |
| 113 | 17 | "Fish in a Drawer" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Carol Mendelsohn & Naren Shankar Teleplay by : Sarah Goldfinger & Evan Dunsky | May 5, 2008 | 13.61[116] |
| 114 | 18 | "If My Hole Could Talk" | Jon Cryer | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Mark Roberts | May 12, 2008 | 13.82[117] |
| 115 | 19 | "Waiting for the Right Snapper" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre | May 19, 2008 | 14.70[118] |
Season 6 (2008–09)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 116 | 1 | "Taterhead is Our Love Child" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Jim Patterson | September 22, 2008 | 14.88[119] |
| 117 | 2 | "Pie Hole, Herb" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers | September 29, 2008 | 13.58[120] |
| 118 | 3 | "Damn You, Eggs Benedict" | Jean Sagal | Story by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | October 6, 2008 | 14.07[121] |
| 119 | 4 | "The Flavin' and the Mavin'" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | October 13, 2008 | 14.72[122] |
| 120 | 5 | "A Jock Strap in Hell" | Jean Sagal | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers | October 20, 2008 | 14.63[123] |
| 121 | 6 | "It's Always Nazi Week" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Jim Patterson | November 3, 2008 | 12.76[124] |
| 122 | 7 | "Best H.O. Money Can Buy" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | November 10, 2008 | 14.50[125] |
| 123 | 8 | "Pinocchio's Mouth" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson | November 17, 2008 | 15.18[126] |
| 124 | 9 | "The Mooch at the Boo" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers | November 24, 2008 | 14.95[127] |
| 125 | 10 | "He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers | December 8, 2008 | 15.59[128] |
| 126 | 11 | "The Devil's Lube" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | December 15, 2008 | 17.92[129] |
| 127 | 12 | "Thank God for Scoliosis" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts | January 12, 2009 | 17.10[130] |
| 128 | 13 | "I Think You Offended Don" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster & Jim Patterson | January 19, 2009 | 16.09[131] |
| 129 | 14 | "David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson | February 2, 2009 | 16.55[132] |
| 130 | 15 | "I'd Like to Start with the Cat" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Susan Beavers | February 9, 2009 | 15.00[133] |
| 131 | 16 | "She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime" | Jeff Melman | Story by : Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | March 2, 2009 | 15.47[134] |
| 132 | 17 | "The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?" | James Widdoes | Story by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster | March 9, 2009 | 13.44[135] |
| 133 | 18 | "My Son's Enormous Head" | James Widdoes | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky | March 16, 2009 | 14.12[136] |
| 134 | 19 | "The Two Finger Rule" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | March 30, 2009 | 14.56[137] |
| 135 | 20 | "Hello, I am Alan Cousteau" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky | April 13, 2009 | 15.03[138] |
| 136 | 21 | "Above Exalted Cyclops" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | April 27, 2009 | 14.16[139] |
| 137 | 22 | "Sir Lancelot's Litter Box" | Jon Cryer | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | May 4, 2009 | 14.17[140] |
| 138 | 23 | "Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth" | Mark Roberts | Story by : Don Foster & Sid Youngers Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky | May 11, 2009 | 13.11[141] |
| 139 | 24 | "Baseball Was Better with Steroids" | Lee Aronsohn | Story by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | May 18, 2009 | 16.18[142] |
Season 7 (2009–10)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 140 | 1 | "818-jklpuzo" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster & Susan Beavers | September 21, 2009 | 13.63[143] |
| 141 | 2 | "Whipped Unto the Third Generation" | James Widdoes | Mark Roberts | September 28, 2009 | 13.86[144] |
| 142 | 3 | "Mmm, Fish. Yum." | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | October 5, 2009 | 13.30[145] |
| 143 | 4 | "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator" | James Widdoes | Story by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts | October 12, 2009 | 14.17[146] |
| 144 | 5 | "For the Sake of the Child" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson | October 19, 2009 | 14.07[147] |
| 145 | 6 | "Give Me Your Thumb" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : David Richardson | November 2, 2009 | 13.51[148] |
| 146 | 7 | "Untainted by Filth" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | November 9, 2009 | 14.44[149] |
| 147 | 8 | "Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle." | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | November 16, 2009 | 13.69[150] |
| 148 | 9 | "Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts | November 23, 2009 | 13.88[151] |
| 149 | 10 | "That's Why They Call It Ball Room" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | December 7, 2009 | 14.84[152] |
| 150 | 11 | "Warning, It's Dirty" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster | December 14, 2009 | 16.37[153] |
| 151 | 12 | "Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts & Don Foster Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & David Richardson | January 11, 2010 | 17.27[154] |
| 152 | 13 | "Yay, No Polyps!" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Jim Patterson | January 18, 2010 | 16.31[155] |
| 153 | 14 | "Crude and Uncalled For" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | February 1, 2010 | 16.51[156] |
| 154 | 15 | "Aye, Aye, Captain Douche" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Jim Patterson | February 8, 2010 | 17.66[157] |
| 155 | 16 | "Tinkle Like a Princess" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Jim Patterson | March 1, 2010 | 16.86[158] |
| 156 | 17 | "I Found Your Moustache" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | March 8, 2010 | 17.61[159] |
| 157 | 18 | "Ixnay on the Oggie Day" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts | March 22, 2010 | 14.46[160] |
| 158 | 19 | "Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave" | James Widdoes | Story by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | April 12, 2010 | 13.71[161] |
| 159 | 20 | "I Called Him Magoo" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Susan Beavers | May 10, 2010 | 13.86[162] |
| 160 | 21 | "Gumby with a Pokey" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers & David Richardson Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | May 17, 2010 | 13.28[163] |
| 161 | 22 | "This is Not Gonna End Well" | Lee Aronsohn | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts & Don Foster Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson & David Richardson | May 24, 2010 | 15.46[164] |
Season 8 (2010–11)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 162 | 1 | "Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky | September 20, 2010 | 14.65[165] |
| 163 | 2 | "A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | September 27, 2010 | 13.92[166] |
| 164 | 3 | "A Pudding-Filled Cactus" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & David Richardson Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers | October 4, 2010 | 14.37[167] |
| 165 | 4 | "Hookers, Hookers, Hookers" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Jim Patterson | October 11, 2010 | 13.47[168] |
| 166 | 5 | "The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | October 18, 2010 | 13.54[169] |
| 167 | 6 | "Twanging Your Magic Clanger" | James Widdoes | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | October 25, 2010 | 13.77[170] |
| 168 | 7 | "The Crazy Bitch Gazette" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | November 1, 2010 | 13.64[171] |
| 169 | 8 | "Springtime on a Stick" | James Widdoes | Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | November 8, 2010 | 13.63[172] |
| 170 | 9 | "A Good Time in Central Africa" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | November 15, 2010 | 14.25[173] |
| 171 | 10 | "Ow, Ow, Don't Stop" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Reo & David Richardson | November 22, 2010 | 14.39[174] |
| 172 | 11 | "Dead from the Waist Down" | James Widdoes | Story by : Susan Beavers & David Richardson & Don Reo Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | December 6, 2010 | 13.41[175] |
| 173 | 12 | "Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | December 13, 2010 | 13.95[176] |
| 174 | 13 | "Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup"[177] | James Widdoes | Story by : Alissa Neubauer Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Don Reo & David Richardson | January 3, 2011 | 15.36[178] |
| 175 | 14 | "Lookin' for Japanese Subs" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson | January 17, 2011 | 15.56[179] |
| 176 | 15 | "Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak" | James Widdoes | Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | February 7, 2011 | 15.15[180] |
| 177 | 16 | "That Darn Priest" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & David Richardson & Don Reo | February 14, 2011 | 14.51[181] |
Season 9 (2011–12)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 178 | 1 | "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt" | James Widdoes | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | September 19, 2011 | 28.74[182] |
| 179 | 2 | "People Who Love Peepholes" | James Widdoes | Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | September 26, 2011 | 20.52[183] |
| 180 | 3 | "Big Girls Don't Throw Food" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Andrew J. B. Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | October 3, 2011 | 17.71[184] |
| 181 | 4 | "Nine Magic Fingers" | James Widdoes | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | October 10, 2011 | 16.20[185] |
| 182 | 5 | "A Giant Cat Holding a Churro" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Reo & David Richardson | October 17, 2011 | 15.14[186] |
| 183 | 6 | "The Squat and the Hover" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Reo & David Richardson | October 24, 2011 | 15.29[187] |
| 184 | 7 | "Those Fancy Japanese Toilets" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | October 31, 2011 | 13.90[188] |
| 185 | 8 | "Thank You for the Intercourse" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | November 7, 2011 | 14.71[189] |
| 186 | 9 | "Frodo's Headshots" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Reo & David Richardson | November 14, 2011 | 14.77[190] |
| 187 | 10 | "A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Gemma Baker Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | November 21, 2011 | 15.82[191] |
| 188 | 11 | "What a Lovely Landing Strip" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo | December 5, 2011 | 15.18[192] |
| 189 | 12 | "One False Move, Zimbabwe!" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Reo | December 12, 2011 | 14.88[193] |
| 190 | 13 | "Slowly and in a Circular Fashion" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Ashton Kutcher Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | January 2, 2012 | 13.94[194] |
| 191 | 14 | "A Possum on Chemo" | James Widdoes | Story by : Susan Beavers & Susan McMartin Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson | January 16, 2012 | 13.02[195] |
| 192 | 15 | "The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo | February 6, 2012 | 13.00[196] |
| 193 | 16 | "Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy" | James Widdoes | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | February 13, 2012 | 12.45[197] |
| 194 | 17 | "Not in My Mouth!" | James Widdoes | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | February 20, 2012 | 13.33[198] |
| 195 | 18 | "The War Against Gingivitis" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo | February 27, 2012 | 11.92[199] |
| 196 | 19 | "Palmdale, Ech" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo | March 19, 2012 | 11.47[200] |
| 197 | 20 | "Grandma's Pie" | James Widdoes | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn | April 9, 2012 | 10.40[201] |
| 198 | 21 | "Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'" | James Widdoes | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo | April 16, 2012 | 11.22[202] |
| 199 | 22 | "Why We Gave Up Women" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo | April 30, 2012 | 11.32[203] |
| 200 | 23 | "The Straw in My Donut Hole" | James Widdoes | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers | May 7, 2012 | 11.43[204] |
| 201 | 24 | "Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson & Don Reo | May 14, 2012 | 11.55[205] |
Season 10 (2012–13)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 202 | 1 | "I Changed My Mind About the Milk" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson | September 27, 2012 | 12.54[206] |
| 203 | 2 | "A Big Bag of Dog" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky | October 4, 2012 | 12.33[207] |
| 204 | 3 | "Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky | October 11, 2012 | 11.35[208] |
| 205 | 4 | "You Do Know What the Lollipop's For" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Alissa Neubauer Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky | October 18, 2012 | 13.60[209] |
| 206 | 5 | "That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam" | James Widdoes | Story by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan McMartin Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Jim Patterson | October 25, 2012 | 12.94[210] |
| 207 | 6 | "Ferrets, Attack!" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky & Matt Ross & Max Searle | November 1, 2012 | 12.65[211] |
| 208 | 7 | "Avoid the Chinese Mustard" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Gemma Baker Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky | November 8, 2012 | 14.07[212] |
| 209 | 8 | "Something My Gynecologist Said" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky | November 15, 2012 | 13.87[213] |
| 210 | 9 | "I Scream When I Pee" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky & Steve Tompkins | November 29, 2012 | 13.74[214] |
| 211 | 10 | "One Nut Johnson" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Steve Tompkins & Alissa Neubauer | December 6, 2012 | 13.50[215] |
| 212 | 11 | "Give Santa a Tail-Hole" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Matt Ross & Max Searle Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky | December 13, 2012 | 13.35[216] |
| 213 | 12 | "Welcome to Alancrest" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Steve Tompkins Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan McMartin | January 3, 2013 | 15.41[217] |
| 214 | 13 | "Grab a Feather and Get in Line" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky & Gemma Baker Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Alissa Neubauer | January 10, 2013 | 14.40[218] |
| 215 | 14 | "Run, Steven Staven! Run!" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson & Susan McMartin Teleplay by : Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky & Steve Tompkins | January 31, 2013 | 13.70[219] |
| 216 | 15 | "Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Matt Ross & Max Searle | February 7, 2013 | 14.12[220] |
| 217 | 16 | "Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky & Alissa Neubauer Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Don Reo & Steve Tompkins | February 14, 2013 | 13.69[221] |
| 218 | 17 | "Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson & Nick Bakay Teleplay by : Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky & Gemma Baker | February 21, 2013 | 13.41[222] |
| 219 | 18 | "The 9:04 from Pemberton" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Don Reo & Steve Tompkins & Alissa Neubauer | March 7, 2013 | 13.54[223] |
| 220 | 19 | "Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Gemma Baker Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan McMartin | March 14, 2013 | 12.18[224] |
| 221 | 20 | "Bazinga! That's from a TV Show" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Don Reo & Matt Ross & Max Searle | April 4, 2013 | 13.71[225] |
| 222 | 21 | "Another Night with Neil Diamond" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Steve Tompkins Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky & Nick Bakay | April 25, 2013 | 11.32[226] |
| 223 | 22 | "My Bodacious Vidalia" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky Teleplay by : Gemma Baker & Matt Ross & Max Searle | May 2, 2013 | 12.12[227] |
| 224 | 23 | "Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Alissa Neubauer & Susan McMartin Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky | May 9, 2013 | 12.83[228] |
Season 11 (2013–14)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 225 | 1 | "Nangnangnangnang" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins | September 26, 2013 | 11.59[229] |
| 226 | 2 | "I Think I Banged Lucille Ball" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Alissa Neubauer Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Jeff Lowell | October 3, 2013 | 9.34[230] |
| 227 | 3 | "This Unblessed Biscuit" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Don Reo & Matt Ross & Max Searle | October 10, 2013 | 9.14[231] |
| 228 | 4 | "Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Don Reo & Steve Tompkins | October 17, 2013 | 8.59[232] |
| 229 | 5 | "Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003" | James Widdoes | Story by : Steve Tompkins & Alissa Neubauer & Don Reo Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Jeff Lowell & Jim Vallely | October 24, 2013 | 8.53[233] |
| 230 | 6 | "Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Susan McMartin & Jon Cryer Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher & Jeff Lowell | November 7, 2013 | 8.27[234] |
| 231 | 7 | "Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie" | James Widdoes | Story by : Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins & Jeff Lowell Teleplay by : Don Reo & Matt Ross & Max Searle | November 14, 2013 | 8.66[235] |
| 232 | 8 | "Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room." | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins Teleplay by : Don Reo & Susan McMartin & Saladin K. Patterson | November 21, 2013 | 8.69[236] |
| 233 | 9 | "Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Tim Kelleher & Nathan Chetty Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Saladin K. Patterson & Jim Valley | December 5, 2013 | 8.47[237] |
| 234 | 10 | "On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Jeff Lowell Teleplay by : Saladin K. Patterson & Matt Ross & Max Searle | December 12, 2013 | 8.54[238] |
| 235 | 11 | "Tazed in the Lady Nuts" | James Widdoes | Story by : Tim Kelleher & Jeff Lowell & Jim Vallely Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins | January 2, 2014 | 8.74[239] |
| 236 | 12 | "Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball." | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Susan McMartin & Leslie Shapira Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Matt Ross & Max Searle | January 9, 2014 | 9.58[240] |
| 237 | 13 | "Bite Me, Supreme Court" | James Widdoes | Story by : Tim Kelleher & Jeff Lowell & Jim Vallely Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins | January 30, 2014 | 8.86[241] |
| 238 | 14 | "Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Maria Espada Pearce Teleplay by : Steve Tompkins & Saladin K. Patterson & Susan McMartin | February 6, 2014 | 8.32[242] |
| 239 | 15 | "Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin" | James Widdoes | Story by : Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher & Jim Vallely Teleplay by : Don Reo & Matt Ross & Max Searle | February 27, 2014 | 10.02[243] |
| 240 | 16 | "How to Get Rid of Alan Harper" | James Widdoes | Story by : Saladin K. Patterson & Jim Vallely & Leslie Schapira Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Jeff Lowell | March 6, 2014 | 10.38[244] |
| 241 | 17 | "Welcome Home, Jake" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Saladin K. Patterson Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher & Matt Ross & Max Searle | March 13, 2014 | 9.43[245] |
| 242 | 18 | "West Side Story" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Susan McMartin Teleplay by : Jeff Lowell & Matt Ross & Max Searle | April 3, 2014 | 9.23[246] |
| 243 | 19 | "Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang" | James Widdoes | Story by : Jeff Lowell & Matt Ross & Max Searle Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins | April 10, 2014 | 9.55[247] |
| 244 | 20 | "Lotta Delis in Little Armenia" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Steve Tompkins & Saladin K. Patterson Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher & Jim Vallely | April 24, 2014 | 9.35[248] |
| 245 | 21 | "Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT" | James Widdoes | Story by : Jim Patterson & Matt Ross & Max Searle Teleplay by : Don Reo & Steve Tompkins & Susan McMartin | May 1, 2014 | 8.97[249] |
| 246 | 22 | "Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher & Jim Vallely Teleplay by : Steve Tompkins & Jeff Lowell & Matt Ross & Max Searle | May 8, 2014 | 8.35[250] |
Season 12 (2014–15)
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | U.S. viewers (millions) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 247 | 1 | "The Ol' Mexican Spinach" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Warren Bell Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins | October 30, 2014 | 10.29[251] |
| 248 | 2 | "A Chic Bar in Ibiza" | James Widdoes | Story by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Reo & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher & Saladin K. Patterson & Jim Vallely | November 6, 2014 | 9.12[252] |
| 249 | 3 | "Glamping in a Yurt" | James Widdoes | Story by : Saladin K. Patterson & Matt Ross & Max Searle Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Jim Vallely | November 13, 2014 | 8.75[253] |
| 250 | 4 | "Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins Teleplay by : Warren Bell & Matt Ross & Max Searle | November 20, 2014 | 8.62[254] |
| 251 | 5 | "Oontz. Oontz. Oontz." | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo & Steve Tompkins & Warren Bell Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher & Saladin K. Patterson | November 27, 2014 | 6.93[255] |
| 252 | 6 | "Alan Shot a Little Girl" | Jon Cryer | Story by : Don Reo & Maria Espada Pearce & Nathan Chetty Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins & Warren Bell | December 4, 2014 | 8.10[256] |
| 253 | 7 | "Sex with an Animated Ed Asner" | James Widdoes | Story by : Jim Patterson & Jim Vallely & Tim Kelleher Teleplay by : Don Reo & Matt Ross & Max Searle | December 11, 2014 | 9.30[257] |
| 254 | 8 | "Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey" | James Widdoes | Story by : Warren Bell, Saladin K. Patterson, & Jim Vallely Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Steve Thompkins | December 18, 2014 | 8.80[258] |
| 255 | 9 | "Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey" | James Widdoes | Story by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher, & Saladin K. Patterson Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross, & Max Searle | January 8, 2015 | 10.07[259] |
| 256 | 10 | "Here I Come, Pants!" | James Widdoes | Story by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo, & Jim Patterson Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher, Matt Ross, & Max Searle | January 15, 2015 | 9.38[260] |
| 257 | 11 | "For Whom the Booty Calls" | James Widdoes | Story by : Warren Bell, Saladin K. Patterson, & Jim Vallely Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Steve Tompkins | January 22, 2015 | 9.31[261] |
| 258 | 12 | "A Beer-Battered Rip-Off" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Jeff Lowell Teleplay by : Matt Ross, Max Searle, & Nathan Chetty | January 29, 2015 | 9.71[262] |
| 259 | 13 | "Boompa Loved His Hookers" | James Widdoes | Story by : Steve Tompkins, Warren Bell & Jeff Lowell Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Nathan Chetty | February 5, 2015 | 9.39[263] |
| 260 | 14 | "Don't Give a Monkey a Gun" | James Widdoes | Story by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher Teleplay by : Jim Vallely, Matt Ross & Max Searle | February 12, 2015 | 9.33[264] |
| 261 | 15 | "Of Course He's Dead" | James Widdoes | Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Don Reo & Jim Patterson | February 19, 2015 | 13.52[265] |
| 262 | 16 | |||||
Ratings
Two and a Half Men : U.S. viewers per episode (millions)
Audience measurement performed by Nielsen Media Research[citation needed]
| Season | Episode number | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | ||
| 1 | 18.44 | 16.18 | 14.82 | 14.73 | 15.24 | 15.82 | 16.02 | 15.82 | 15.98 | 17.14 | 14.77 | 16.75 | 17.86 | 16.48 | 16.96 | 17.39 | 16.48 | 17.10 | 16.43 | 14.58 | 16.20 | 16.01 | 15.20 | 18.16 | |
| 2 | 16.44 | 16.44 | 16.43 | 17.15 | 16.28 | 17.25 | 16.04 | 17.47 | 18.94 | 17.88 | 16.22 | 18.03 | 18.14 | 17.01 | 16.75 | 16.78 | 17.50 | 17.45 | 15.92 | 17.13 | 17.93 | 17.96 | 24.24 | 14.37 | |
| 3 | 15.04 | 14.37 | 14.21 | 15.24 | 15.56 | 16.77 | 16.19 | 15.17 | 15.74 | 16.53 | 17.71 | 17.20 | 17.07 | 16.33 | 17.04 | 17.06 | 17.37 | 16.72 | 14.05 | 14.47 | 14.31 | 14.87 | 11.04 | 15.51 | |
| 4 | 15.04 | 15.28 | 15.80 | 16.38 | 16.25 | 15.03 | 14.48 | 15.83 | 15.04 | 15.50 | 15.69 | 14.78 | 15.85 | 17.68 | 15.50 | 16.56 | 16.58 | 11.68 | 13.46 | 13.03 | 12.27 | 13.71 | 13.27 | 10.16 | |
| 5 | 13.58 | 13.24 | 13.02 | 13.69 | 13.94 | 13.73 | 13.80 | 14.12 | 13.92 | 15.26 | 14.06 | 14.23 | 14.50 | 13.94 | 13.36 | 12.91 | 13.61 | 13.82 | 14.70 | – | |||||
| 6 | 14.88 | 13.58 | 14.07 | 14.72 | 14.63 | 12.76 | 14.50 | 15.18 | 14.95 | 15.59 | 17.92 | 17.10 | 16.09 | 16.55 | 15.00 | 15.47 | 13.44 | 14.12 | 14.56 | 15.03 | 14.16 | 14.17 | 13.11 | 16.18 | |
| 7 | 13.63 | 13.86 | 13.07 | 14.17 | 14.07 | 13.51 | 14.44 | 13.69 | 13.91 | 14.84 | 16.37 | 17.27 | 16.20 | 16.51 | 17.16 | 16.86 | 17.61 | 14.46 | 13.71 | 13.86 | 13.28 | 15.46 | – | ||
| 8 | 14.56 | 13.92 | 14.37 | 13.47 | 13.54 | 13.77 | 13.64 | 13.63 | 14.25 | 14.39 | 13.41 | 13.45 | 15.36 | 15.56 | 15.15 | 14.51 | – | ||||||||
| 9 | 28.74 | 20.52 | 17.71 | 16.20 | 15.14 | 15.29 | 13.90 | 14.71 | 14.77 | 15.82 | 15.18 | 14.88 | 13.94 | 13.02 | 13.00 | 12.45 | 13.33 | 11.92 | 11.47 | 10.40 | 11.22 | 11.32 | 11.43 | 11.55 | |
| 10 | 12.54 | 12.33 | 11.35 | 13.60 | 12.94 | 12.65 | 14.07 | 13.87 | 13.74 | 13.50 | 13.35 | 15.41 | 14.40 | 13.70 | 14.12 | 13.69 | 13.41 | 13.54 | 12.18 | 13.71 | 11.32 | 12.12 | 12.83 | – | |
| 11 | 11.59 | 9.34 | 9.14 | 8.59 | 8.53 | 8.27 | 8.66 | 8.69 | 8.47 | 8.54 | 8.74 | 9.58 | 8.86 | 8.32 | 10.02 | 10.38 | 9.43 | 9.23 | 9.55 | 9.35 | 8.97 | 8.35 | – | ||
| 12 | 10.29 | 9.12 | 8.75 | 8.62 | 6.93 | 8.10 | 9.30 | 8.80 | 10.07 | 9.38 | 9.31 | 9.71 | 9.39 | 9.33 | 13.52 | 13.52 | – | ||||||||
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