Kim Kitsuragi (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

• Featured article candidates/Kim Kitsuragi/archive1

Nominator(s): Shooterwalker (talk) 18:37, 2 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Kim Kitsuragi is the most well-developed character in Disco Elysium, a critically acclaimed game that is often included among List of video games considered the best. The player is left to imprint their own ideas onto the player-character, while Kim Kitsuragi acts as their tutorial, mentor, conscience, and comedic foil. Critics have noted how Kim Kitsuragi is one of the best video game companions, not just for being an interesting character, but for being an interesting game character. Critics have gushed about these many small yet memorable moments of reactivity, making the player feel that their actions and choices matter. By that interactive standard, I think Kim Kitsuragi might be one of the best examples of a video game character, period.

This article reached WP:GA a few weeks ago. Crisco 1492 reviewed it with comments at Talk:Kim Kitsuragi/GA1, suggesting that this would have an easy time at FAC. I have taken a few additional steps to make sure this is ready for FA. I feel that the prose is of high quality. I also believe the sources are also of high quality, though I'd draw attention to Valnet sources. While I agree that they offer minimal value for the sake of notability, this article is clearly notable, and briefly mentioning them does help illustrate why this character is so celebrated. Shooterwalker (talk) 18:37, 2 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Happy to see this here.

Images:

• File:Kim Kitsuragi.png - Has a valid FUR. Could be a bit more detailed and specific (compare File:Claire Redfield.png)
• File:Robert Kurvitz in 2020.jpg - Very minor nitpick, but per MOS:IMAGESYNTAX the caption should be last.

Rereading the article...

• Any story beats worth including in the lede?
• is designed for greater reactivity to the player's choices - Maybe "is designed to react to the player's choices"?
• "his sexuality, who confirms that his is gay with a witty remark." - feels a bit awkward. Perhaps "his sexuality; he confirms that he is gay with a witty remark."
• statistics - as in the character sheet? Is there a good target link for this?
• human-computer interaction should be human–computer interaction per MOS:ENBETWEEN
• The Mary Sue has noted his popularity in making Disco Elysium one of the best games ever written.[42] - perhaps "The Mary Sue has noted his popularity as a factor in making Disco Elysium one of the best games ever written.[42]"?

Overall, excellent piece. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 19:26, 2 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I went through all the fixes. It's possible they might get another revision, depending on what other editors say. A note: I couldn't figure out how to fix the nitpick around File:Robert Kurvitz in 2020.jpg, and often have challenges dealing with images. I'm normally pretty good with everything else, but is this something you can help with? Shooterwalker (talk) 18:12, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Hi Shooter. This was it. As I said, very minor nitpick. Happy to support! — Chris Woodrich (talk) 18:35, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  I see it now. Thanks for the quick fix and the support! Shooterwalker (talk) 15:50, 4 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, how can I not jump in to review the best character of all time, the unrepentant spoilsport Kim Kitsuragi? Comments within the week, ping if I let it slide. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 16:48, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@PMC: Checking back in. This nomination is still just under a week old, so take your time. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:15, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• "As a non-playable companion to the player character, he assists in solving a murder as the central plot of the game" Not sure about the phrasing here. What about "As a non-playable companion, he assists the player character in solving the murder that drives the game's plot" or something like that?
• "Created by..., Kitsuragi was created..." repetition of "created", and also, these two clauses don't go together. I might move the studio info to the first sentence, because it's not adding much here
• "created from lead designer Robert Kurvitz's experience with tabletop role-playing games" The text doesn't link Kim to Kurvitz's TTRPG experience, and in fact, the source for the TTRPG doesn't mention Kim at all
• "revealing Kitsuragi's character only in specific situations" - this seems to imply that Kim only appears for certain interactions. I think what you want is something more like "consequentially, Kitsuragi only reveals certain aspects of his personality in specific situations"; I'd set it off with a semi-colon

Appearances

I have some concerns with organization of this section, which feels disjointed. Although there's a limited number and no single-game character that's directly comparable, looking at other video game FAs like Chris Redfield or Lightning (Final Fantasy) gives an indication of how the best articles in this area are structured. "Appearances" concerns their role in the plot of their respective media, with other details like personality and design placed in the Concept section.

Meanwhile, in this article, Appearances is all over the place. Para 1 opens with plot, then gets into Kim's character, then real-world details of the game's development and merch. Then para 2 repeats the murder and expands some more on the plot, then para 3 gives us his personality details. I think you need to reorganize so Appearances only concerns his role in the plot, which could be expanded somewhat to compensate.

I'm going to stop here since there's not much point going further if there's going to be a radical rework. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 03:21, 10 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing. I want to make some edits to improve this article, but I want to make sure we can get on the same page about the Appearances section. I tried to write the Appearances section in a WP:PYRAMID style, beginning with an overview of Kitsuragi's appearances (paragraph 1), a closer look at his role in the main plot (paragraph 2), and finishing with the finest details of his appearances in the game (paragraph 3). Your comment (and helpful rephrasing) that "Kitsuragi only reveals certain aspects of his personality in specific situations" is really instructive, because it explains how this character doesn't have the same linear story arc as most literary characters (or even game characters). This isn't just a random fact about Kitsuragi. It's literally what most of the sources discuss.

Expanding on his role in the plot would be incorrect, and not reflective of the majority of sources that give us paragraph three: Kitsuragi's notable moments of reactivity, as an interactive and non-linear game character. It might help to read the analysis and reception section (even short of a full FA review with comments) to understand how many reviewers fixate on Kitsuragi's appearances during the game's small moments of reactivity, with very little to say about Kitsuragi's overall story arc (or lack thereof). This is why there is an entire paragraph just about that.

As for the "Final Cut", merch, and collage mode, this is meant to describe Kitsuragi's appearances and portrayal outside of the original game release. I realize how merchandizing his bomber jacket might not exactly be an appearance, but merch is discussed under the appearances for other game character FA's including Ada Wong, Claire Redfield, Jill Valentine, Lightning (Final Fantasy), and Raichu. Would a new heading or subheading help?

Another idea would be to re-sequence the existing information. Currently, it's written WP:PYRAMID style, where paragraph 1 offers a comprehensive overview of all of his appearances, with the second and third paragraphs going into progressively more detail about his main appearance in the main game. I could move the merch and collage mode to the end of the section (and maybe even the "Final Cut" too, though it represents an expansion of his appearances in the main game that is hard to separate from the original release). Another idea that I don't like is to ignore the advice at WP:PYRAMID and WP:INUNIVERSE, instead writing this section in terms of the fictional chronology of the game. I would introducing the game's plot (all but the last sentence of paragraph 2), then describe the many smaller appearances in the middle (most of paragraph 3), and then finish with the game's ending (the last sentence in paragraph 2). (And the post-release stuff such as merch can appear right after.)

Your other comments about the lead are well-taken. I want to make sure I understand the best way to address the appearances section before I tackle these all at once. Shooterwalker (talk) 22:05, 10 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I get what you were going for, but nonetheless it reads as disorganized, especially when you compare it to FAs for other characters. Like I said, the first paragraph jumps around, and the second paragraph repeats information already mentioned in the first. Yes, merchandise is mentioned in other articles, but in its own paragraph separate from the plot summary (often its own section), and balanced by a larger plot section that actually explains their role in the story of their respective games. And again, personality/characterization is generally placed within the Concept or Character design section, not within Appearances. I've played the game, I'm familiar with Kim's reactivity as a character. But I've also written and reviewed my share of Featured Articles, and with a focus on article structure, and I can generally tell when something isn't working. Following a pyramidal structure is not mandatory (the page even says articles are not usually structured this way), and I don't think it's working for you in this section.

Producing a summary of Kim's role in major plot beats (like the tribunal maybe? "Kim truly trusts you" is practically the emotional high point of the entire game) is not in violation of WP:INUNIVERSE, and I'm not sure why you would think it is. Other VG character FAs spend much longer describing their role in their respective stories, in order to give the reader context to the real-world reception and analyses that follow. It simply doesn't make sense to not have that information here as well. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 22:54, 10 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I am worried about expanding on a plot point that none of the secondary sources have particularly spent time on, while having me remove moments of the character's appearances that the secondary sources do focus on.

I am also concerned about eliminating the fact that he is represented in merch, expansions, and re-releases. That's why I brought up WP:INUNIVERSE, as it seems like you're asking me to remove real world context to put the main plot of the singular game ahead of what reliable sources have discussed.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding your request. I can see the merit in re-sequencing and even expanding the section, but certainly not eliminating the moments of his appearances that are discussed extensively by secondary sources. Shooterwalker (talk) 19:59, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I think you may have misunderstood my comment. The only thing I've asked to be removed entirely, as opposed to simply moved, is the photo mode detail, which is misleading as currently written. Everything else is largely worth keeping, but needs re-organization and expansion. Per MOS:PLOTCITE, you don't need secondary citations for plot information. Primary references are acceptable for this purpose, as long as you're not performing any interpretation. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 02:13, 17 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for clarifying. I think I understand your concerns and did my best to address them. Take a look at the new version. I am slightly concerned that the big changes caused this section to lose the polish from many other editors' feedback. I'm even tempted to revert to the prior version. But if you think it's on the right track, I would like to keep going. Shooterwalker (talk) 18:53, 18 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Premeditated Chaos following up as a courtesy. I do agree PMC's take on the first one, but maybe Shooterwalker already handled it. 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 23:21, 28 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Appearances 2.0

• The article's structure is still reversed from WP:VGORDER, which is part of the MOS. All FAs must be MOS-compliant, and structure is specifically noted.
• As a nitpick, I'd move the quote box to the right, it's a bit jarring to start with a left-placed item. Won't die on the hill of it.
• "with additional voiced dialog featured the game's 2021 remastered edition" missing word here I think
• Not much has actually been done to address my concerns. The paragraph structure is still awkward, particularly para 2.
  • Para 1 is fine if short, although sentence 2 from para 2 is a bit repetitive of sentence 2 from para 1, both of which describe Kim as the player's partner
  • Para 2 starts with plot for 2 sentences, then dips into his appearance, then goes into Kim's personality, then his responses to the player. A paragraph should concern a single point or idea and this one covers several.
  • Para 3 is better-focused than 2; all of the content concerns Kim's interactions with Harry, which is good. I appreciate the addition of the sentence about losing his trust and possibly getting him shot. On re-read, I'm more inclined to see this as belonging in appearances.
• At the end of the day, I still think the article would benefit from a straightforward synopsis of what Kim and Harry actually do together. Even 3-4 sentences covering the forced story beats - "Kim and Harry conduct an autopsy, investigate a local labor dispute, wind up in a firefight, and track down the shooter" - would provide some actual context. We can't assume the reader is familiar with the game's plot.
  • • "The autopsy" is specifically highlighted in the Analysis and Reception sections, but is never previously mentioned in the article!
• "Kitsuragi's popularity led additional appearances" missing another word here
• The statement about Collage Mode has actually been made more misleading, as it now implies that Kim's popularity led to him being included in Collage Mode. This is flatly incorrect - every single character in the game is included in that mode. It has nothing to do with Kim's popularity.

Concept

• The ZA/UM background feels like it could be condensed. For example, Kim doesn't appear in Sacred, so the reader doesn't really need that to understand his concept.
• "Kurvitz tried to expand..." this pertains more to the game in general, as everyone in it is microreactive, not just Kim. What you might want to do with all the broad-strokes game design info is put that into one paragraph at the beginning of this section, then start a second paragraph in which you drill down into Kim's reactivity
• You have "occasionally" in two successive sentences here
• "In comparison to the player character, the writers discussed what attributes and beliefs that Kitsuragi might have." It's not clear from the article that "attributes" (and "volition" in the following sentence) refers to in-game stats, and "beliefs" likely refers to the in-game thought cabinet mechanic.
• "they discovered actor..." there's no need to cite the same source twice in one sentence
• "Champenois recalls" - should be past tense
• "ultimately" does nothing for the sentence and should be removed
• "In the expanded Final Cut, Champenois became one of the few original actors retained for voice performance." could be simplified to "Champenois was one of the few original voice actors retained for the expanded Final Cut"

Analysis

• "In the Cyberpsychology Journal..." the reference at the end of this sentence is the Wired article, not the Klimczyk paper
• "achieves a Brechtian distancing effect" I think you need to explain this a little more, as right now it's meaningless to anyone who doesn't already know who Brecht is and what he wrote about distancing effects.
• "when he says, 'I'd rather not talk about it."" - what is the "it" that he isn't talking about?
• "which focus more" - "focuses" is the correct tense; "hardboiled detective fiction" is singular, not plural
• I might break up para 2 a bit. There's enough for a separate paragraph on the racism and his queerness
• "TheGamer has noted him..." this is reception, not analysis. So is Gab Hernandez's comment.

Reception

• There's some redundancy in para 1, which both opens and closes by saying that commentators frequently praise the character
• "Kitsuragi is celebrated for his role in the game's most memorable moments" - such as? This is why we need the plot beats, imo - how can the reader understand the character if they don't know what moments he's being praised for contributing to?
• "The Mary Sue has noted Kitsuragi" - "noted" here makes it sound like objective fact. "argued" maybe, or "felt that". Also, please attribute to a person, since the article has an author.
• Para 2 uses "moments" four times in five sentences
• "A promotional booth at Eurogamer Expo 2022 featured a portrait of Kitsuragi, which received a flood of fan mail and fan art of the character." This would be better placed up with the bomber jacket. It concerns Kim's use in promotional material and it supports the assertion made there about Kim's popularity with fans. (I might reword the last clause a bit, as presently it reads that the portrait received fan mail, and a portrait cannot receive anything.)
• The bomber jacket reception could be trimmed right down and included in the merch section.
• "some suggesting that it contradicted Kitsuragi's character" in what way can a non-canonical non-narrative photo mode contradict a character
• The "Accolades" division does not make sense. These types of sections are intended to contain specific awards, but most of what's here is simply more critical reception. Adventure Gamers and Fanbyte are both actual awards that should be named, whereas critics casually saying that Kim is one of the best characters or relationships should be integrated into the reception section.
• "as well as Fanbyte" this could just be "and Fanbyte"

That's me for now. ♠PMC♠ (talk) 09:21, 29 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Most of the publishers/websites aren't linked yet
• ref 21, Destructoid wasn't italicized yet
• What makes Phenixx Gaming, Comic Book Resources (this is probably a low quality source as a valnet only in video games that should be removed), Vooks, Sirus Gaming reliable? 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 05:56, 4 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  Thanks for doing the source review. Let me see if I can address these concerns:

  • Comic Book Resources: Valnet is listed as "Situational" at WP:VG/RS. I wouldn't want to set a bad precedent where CBR is given more than its due weight. But I think the declaration of "gaming's best companion" is worth mentioning and preserving.
  • Vooks: This one has an editor-in-chief[1], and has been operating for 25 years.
  • Sirus Gaming: This one has an editor-in-chief and process for reporting issues with their reviews.[2]
  • Phenixx Gaming: This one has an editor-in-chief[3], and talks about transparency and credibility in their "About Us".

  If I had to stick up for one, it would be Phenixx Gaming. There is also some nuance around the use of Valnet, and how to use it situationally. I would normally let these shorter mentions go, but with a lot of reliable news sites being decimated by layoffs, I think it's important to support the less famous sites that still show a commitment to fact-checking and accuracy. Let's keep discussing. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:24, 4 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  I see. I guess I don't have other issues with this article so far. However, you would also make sure to italicize game and film titles in the citation titles per MOS:CONFORMTITLE. 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:25, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  I reviewed the article and looked for instances that needed italics. I did my best, but let me know if I missed anything. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:56, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  Looks good. I'll support this nomination. 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 01:06, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

  Thanks for the review and the support. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:14, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewing this version:

1. 2 Where does it speak of his first appearance? I don't see calm and stoic either here or the other source. Nor the part about the statistics.
2. 4 OK
3. 8 OK
4. 9 OK
5. 11 OK
6. 13 OK
7. 15 OK
8. 16 OK
9. 20 OK
10. 34 I am not sure that citing only the first author is the right way to cite a paper. And where does it draw a connection to the Brecht distancing?
11. 35 OK
12. 38 OK
13. 39 OK
14. 41 OK
15. 44 OK
16. 45 OK
17. 48 OK
18. 50 OK
19. 52 OK

Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 08:55, 19 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The appearances section is in the process of a serious overall, or potentially being reverted. But I'll speak to the comments for the other sections:

• Re: "statistics".[2]
  • "Imagining that Lieutenant Kitsuragi has only one natural attribute pointin Motorics helps the ZA/UM team to understand the depth of his character ..." -> I changed it to attributes, just to stay closer to the source.
• Re: "Brecht".[34]
  • "Further, the game utilizes luck mechanics, causing you to fail tests when trying to empathize or care for other characters in the game and making life harder for your partner, Kim Kitsuragi. It is constantly communicated to you, the player, that Harry Du Bois and his relatively low control over himself and his faculties, make it impossible to always do the right thing."
  • "Harry Du Bois is not a sympathetic character which the player pities or looks up to, instead the player is forced to connect with him on a different level, as described by Brecht (Willet, 1964). This distanced connection, ... allows for critical reflection"

The last one is trying to summarize a long article in a single sentence, but this is the essence of it. If we can at least check those ones off, we can revisit the other uses of source 2 just as soon as I get word about the prose review above. Shooterwalker (talk) 23:00, 20 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

1. 54

Fair warning: I have never played the game before. Comments are in order of reading.

Lead

• Consider unlinking "video game" per MOS:SEAOFBLUE
• "... in solving a murder that comprises the game's main plot." - "comprising" suggests that the murder-solving extends beyond the plot. Is this correct? If so, the sentence should at least mention what else it encompasses. Otherwise, "makes up" may be a suitable alternative.

• Butting in on someone else's comment to say I don't think this makes sense. "Comprises" means "to be made up of", and does not imply that anything "extends beyond the plot". (I'm not sure what that even means to be honest). ♠PMC♠ (talk) 20:13, 1 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I only knew "to comprise" as in "to contain" or "to be made up of", so saying "a murder that comprises the game's main plot" read to me as "a murder that contains the plot", which I would have expected to be the other way around. I just looked it up and apparently it has two competing definitions that mean the opposite of each other? Ugh! Feel free to disregard my comment. IceWelder [✉] 20:27, 1 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Is "stoic" uncommon enough that it should be linked? Ditto for "deadpan".
• Suggestion: "Created by the Estonian studio ZA/UM, Kitsuragi was designed under the direction of Robert Kurvitz" -> "Kitsuragi was designed by the Estonian studio ZA/UM under the direction of Robert Kurvitz".
• Is Estonia a "major" country per WP:OL, such that it shouldn't be linked?
• "deciding to reveal different aspects" - "different" is redundant here.
• "Kitsuragi was also celebrated" - redundant "also".
• "... and voice performance" - were there any other performances? Otherwise, "voice" is redundant.

Appearances

• "Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi is assigned to partner with Harrier "Harry" Du Bois, the player character.":
  • The full name has already been mentioned, so it doesn't need to be repeated.
  • Harry's name, which I think can be shortened to "Harry Du Bois", should be moved up a paragraph to where the character is first mentioned.
  • The sentence also repeats that Harry is the player character.
  • What department is each character from? If they come from different departments, why are they not rivals like the departments are?
• Is the bomber jacket his "signature" merely to the player or also in-universe, i.e. known to other characters as always wearing it?
• Bomber jacket is very linkable.
• "Kitsuragi is depicted wearing ... visible heritage from "Seol"" - Perhaps there is a verb missing here?
• The explanation of Seol should be at most separated by a comma, as it is quite relevant. Parentheses suggest minor importance.
• "Kitsuragi serves a source of professionalism" -> "Kitsuragi serves as a source of professionalism"?
• "Other times, he responds with" -> "He may respond with"?

• "Different aspects of Kitsuragi's character" - "Different", as above.
• "which also contribute to the game's tone" - I feel like this is a given, no?
• "he sometimes cooperates with the player's more eccentric behaviors, and even shows moments of vulnerability"
  • No Oxford comma between dependent clauses.
  • The "even" indicates that this is not usually the case in the game. Is that correct?
• "In contrast, the player can also lose Kitsuragi's trust, or even cause him to be shot and hospitalized." - Oxford comma and "even", as above.

• "including marketing and merchandise for his signature orange bomber jacket" - Since the jacket has already been introduced, this mention could be shortened to just "his bomber jacket" or even "his jacket".
• "an 2023" -> "a 2023".
• "where players" -> "wherein the player"?

Concept and creation

• The image of Kurvitz looks suspiciously like a screenshot from a video link. Are we positive that the image can feasibly be under a free license?
• "for the 2019 video game Disco Elysium" - The game has already been introduced, so this can be shortened.
• "Lead designer and writer Robert Kurvitz" - The article doesn't consistently work with false titles, so I'd suggest getting rid of them outright.
• "his tabletop role-playing game experience, and the Elysium setting" - Bad Oxford comma.
• "Sacred And Terrible Air ." -> "Sacred and Terrible Air." (Title Case and odd space).
• "find the player character amusing, and occasionally indulge him" - Oxford comma, as above.
• ""gives him a warmth that's so endearing."" -> Punctuation should be outside the quotes per MOS:LQ.

• "what attributes and beliefs that Kitsuragi might have" - Redundant "that".
• "not implemented in game" -> "not implemented in the game".
• The player character cannot kiss Kim, but are there other romancing options (like flirting)? If not, this sentence should be generalized a bit.
• "Kurvitz sees Kitsuragi as" -> "Kurvitz saw Kitsuragi as" (indirect quote).
• "what he does for the officer is what Disco Elysium tries ..."
  • The quote is a full sentence, so I feel it should start capitalized (like the source).
  • The omission of "Let's get through this shit, it says." feels odd, as I understand that "this shit" is the "It" in "It's not fair". In my opinion, the fragment should be restored.

• What about Revachol makes it require a French-ish accent? Is it in another country or do people from that town just generally talk like that?
• "by hiring a voiceover agency" -> "though a voice-over agency".
• "Lead writer Robert Kurvitz" -> "Kurvitz" as he was already introduced in this section.
• "Kurvitz recalls" -> "Kurvitz recalled".
• "artistic director Jim Ashilevi" - also remove the false title here.
• "... found parallels between himself and Kitsuragi, and ultimately called upon ..." - Bad Oxford comma.
• "Champenois became one of the few original actors retained for voice performance" - I don't think "retained" means he was kept on call. Perhaps: "Champenois was one of the few original actors who recorded additional dialog". Also, were the rest recast, such that the actor was central to this point, or did only a few characters get extra lines, meaning Kitsuragi was key?

Analysis

• "Taylor-Giles highlights Kitsuragi's reactions during the autopsy sequence" - What autopsy sequence?
• Lena Aeschbach
  • False title.
  • The original source also gives the name as "Lena Fanya Aeschbach". Since you otherwise use the full author names, I'd do so here as well.
  • Said source also lists two more authors; can the statement be attributed to Aeschbach alone?
• The distancing effect is Brechtian by nature, so that fragment may be removed. It would also resolve the MOS:SEAOFBLUE.
• "Kitsuragi's role as a moral authority and a voice of reason" -> Repeated article can be removed.

• "Kitsuragi is often highlighted" -> "Kitsuragi was often highlighted" (at the time these pieces were written).
• "Evan Bernick cites Kim's reactions" - For consistency, "Evan D. Bernick" and "Kitsuragi".
• What are the "guarded political hopes of the game's authors"? Assuming that the game contains direct political commentary, this context has not been provided in this article yet.
• "when he says, 'I'd rather not talk about it.""
  • -> "when he says "I'd rather not talk about it."".
  • Is it important in what context this is said?
• Why are NME and TheGamer singled out as outlets without attached author names?
• That Seol is fictional has already been established and doesn't need to be repeated here.
• "The Mary Sue also reacted" -> "The Mary Sue reacted".
• "Journalist Dmitry King" - False title.
• "TheGamer has noted" -> "TheGamer noted".
• Clarify that Gab Hernandez is also of TheGamer.
• "Kim" -> "Kitsuragi".
• The repeated "as" in the quote can be removed.

• Noticing how there is a reception section coming up, everything from the PC Gamer entry already felt like reception. Perhaps you can find ways to better arrange and separate the two functions.

Reception

• "Kim Kitsuragi is frequently praised" -> "Kim Kitsuragi was frequently praised".
• A few more MOS:LQ instances across this section should be fixed.
• "OVerall," is redundant.
• "The Mary Sue has noted"
  • -> "The Mary Sue noted".
  • Who at The Mary Sue did so?
  • Saying that Kitsuragi was merely "a factor" of the writing's reception is probably an understatement, as being a major character makes this a given. Was it a "major factor", perhaps?

• "Nintendo World Report remembers" -> "Nintendo World Report remembered".
• "MacGregor" -> "Macgregor".
• Moving "[Kitsuragi's]" outside the quote or paraphrasing it would avoid the brackets.
• "the player can simply allow Kitsuragi" - Are any other allowances difficult to perform? Otherwise, I'd remove the "simply".
• "RPG Site writer George Foster" - False title.
• "feeling an emotional bond as they danced together, nodded at each other, and shared a stolen sandwich" - These exact situations were already mentioned earlier. Perhaps this can be shortened.

• "Eurogamer Expo 2022" -> "EGX London 2022". Also linkable to EGX (expo).
• "release of an official Kitsuragi-themed bomber jacket"
  • "official" is redundant.
  • Assuming you now have it linked earlier, the bomber jacket can be unlinked here.
• "Collage Mode"
  • The mode was previously in lower-case but it should be consistent. If this is a proper name, Title Case is fine.
  • The year was already mentioned prior and could be removed here.
  • The pricing (free) was not mentioned earlier, but for consistency I believe it should be.
  • Bad Oxford comma in the subsequent sentence.
• I would include "ZA/UM's ongoing" in the subsequent link, similar to WP:OFTHESAMENAME.

Accolades

• The site and newspaper call themselves "The Blade" instead of "The Toledo Blade", as does the paper's Wikipedia article. The text should reflect that, and the "The" should be within the link as it is part of the name.
• "favorite game character of the year, who felt he" - This suggests Kitsuragi is feeling it, please revise.
• More MOS:LQ cases here as well.
• TheGamer again appears without author attribution, as do those citing Kitsuragi as one of the best companions.
• "PC Gamer ranked Kitsuragi's non-romantic relationship ..." - missing italics and author.
• The edit's to PC Gammer's quote feel odd when the original is perfectly servicable. I recommend using it verbatim.
• "Lead writer Robert Kurvitz and the rest of the ZA/UM team" -> "The ZA/UM team".
• "Kim" -> "Kitsuragi".
• "positive reception, mentioning that he received a lot of positive comments" - The lot of positive comments should constitute the positive reception, pheraps avoid this repetition.

References

• Phenixx Gaming, Vooks, and Sirus Gaming all feel like unreliable sources as their senior staff have no professional credits, even if they call themselves "editor-in-chief". I wouldn't have passed them in a GAN review and strongly advocate for their removal in this FAC.
• DOIs, ISBNs, and ISSNs are used inconsistently. It should suffice to have only DOIs for all scientific publications and only ISBNs for books.
• In the source directly from ZA/UM, the company should be noted as the publisher, not the work, and the name should be the common name of "ZA/UM" instead of "ZA/UM Studio".
• The German sources missing trans-titles, the GamePro one also a language tag.
• "Rock, Paper, Shotgun" should be "Rock Paper Shotgun".
• Critical Hits is the only cite with an attached quote. For consistency, this one can probably go too.

I haven't checked the sources for their contents and will trust the above spots checks on this. Regards, IceWelder [✉] 19:07, 1 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]