The commentary in this article is meant to be humorous. The opinions expressed by the authors are their own and do not necessarily represent those of The Signpost —S

This traffic report is adapted from the Top 25 Report, prepared with commentary by Stormy clouds (August 24 to 31), Igordebraga (September 1 to 14), A lad insane and FoxyGrampa75 (September 8 to 14), and Hugsyrup (September 15 to 21).

Following the depressing dominance of Mindhunter last week, I am greatly appreciative to be able to report that this week's iteration is slightly less monotonous, a fact brought about by the diminished number of views required to sneak into the Top 25 over the past seven days. As such, in addition to all of the expected malevolent and malicious murderers who lingered in the report, we have a list featuring a surprisingly diverse report with a series of disparate sporting entries, two films at the forefront of the impending awards season, and a number of musically inclined entries, alongside the usual cohort of the recently deceased who appear on each week's report, and the list containing all notable entrants through the Pearly Gates. With such varied and intriguing entries, the report was a joy to compile, and is hopefully as entertaining to peruse. Enjoy.

Thus, for the week of August 25 to 31, 2019, the 25 most popular articles on Wikipedia, as determined from the WP:5000 report were:

Rank	Article	Class	Views	Image	About
1	Andrew Luck		1,203,492		Gridiron returns soon, with many fascinating things to look out for between the endzones, from the vibrant young talent of the league's MVP, to the patriotic pursuit of immortality in the form of a seventh ring, to the prospect of a Beckham-bolstered Browns actually being good. One thing you will not see, however, is former Colt Andrew Luck, with the QB surprising fans with an early retirement. Devoid of a national title, Luck will at least always have his Parks and Rec cameo.
2	Saaho		1,005,682		It wouldn't be a week on the Top 25 Report without an appearance by the latest and greatest Bollywood blockbuster. Buoyed by that YouTube money, this week's behemoth is amongst the most expensive films made in the industry, and stars a man used to such massive budgets. Critically, it has been received rather poorly, but it has recouped its production budget at the box office, so is half-way towards its break-even point.
3	Jessi Combs		937,423		Discovery Channel viewers were shocked and saddened by the passing of former Mythbuster Jessi Combs, who died in a car crash while attempting to set a new speed record. The outpouring of grief and morbid surprise at the 39 year old's passing regretfully propelled her to this lofty position on the report.
4	Group of Seven		(G)796,654		In the picturesque French city of Biarritz, the world's foremost economic powers (who don't use Novichok) convened to discuss global geopolitics. From a dreamy Canadian to an eloquent Frenchman to Tweedledum and Tweedledidee, the major leaders of the world's political strengths discussed topics such as intellectual property, nuclear non-proliferation, and the ongoing civil unrest in Hong Kong.
5	Mindhunter (TV series)		794,777		Following its complete dominance of the report last week, I have taken a conscious decision this week, both in aid of evading the perils of exposure theory and, perhaps more pertinently, to avoid having consecutive iterations of the report be depressing and revolving around mass murder.
6	Deaths in 2019		759,275		Cast a cold eye, on life, on death; Horseman, pass by.
7	Wayne Williams		735,839		See number 5
8	Atlanta murders of 1979–1981		680,699 (611,386+69,313)
9	13 Reasons Why		660,153		After a complete disaster of a second season, rife with serious tonal issues in its presentation of suicidal tendencies, self-harm, school shootings, sadomasochism, and schizophrenia, Netflix's massive (somehow) young adult smash hit returned for its third season. Given that its predecessor succeeded only in its aim to "start a conversation" by triggering debates about whether it was so bad it was good, and whether the troublesome messages were problematic to present to its young audience, I haven't bothered watching it yet.
10	Once Upon a Time in Hollywood		620,779		I have often quarrelled with the appropriate length of the moratorium on discussing the spoilers, as convoluted and unspoken as the etiquette surrounding such matters is. It is complicated in the case of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood owing to the delayed international release strategy employed by Sony, which means that European audiences have had less time to watch the slow-moving and masterful cinematic exploration of the Tate murders and the dwindling Golden Age of Hollywood, and to revel in its fiery and explosive final act. The film is already being heavily tipped for Academy Award glory, particularly for its director and co-stars.

Do you remember 2017 in September?
Clowns and tennis were the rage among pretenders
While hurricanes were blowing away

And two years later, things are going the same way again. A new tropical cyclone, another installment of It (even if unlike what the Report promised back in 2017 it was held from the top spot by another thing present that month, and just about every other: our friends in India) while having some other thing about clowns (from American Horror Story: Cult to the Joker solo movie), and the US Open of tennis. Recent deaths (#8) and some basketball (#9) completes our list.

For the week of September 1 to 7, 2019, the 25 most popular articles on Wikipedia, as determined from the WP:5000 report were:

Rank	Article	Class	Views	Image	About
1	Saaho		1,698,364		The latest Bollywood blockbuster, an action thriller about crime syndicates starring Prabhas (pictured). One of the most expensive Indian movies ever, Saaho is also one of the year's runaway hits, in spite of a critical thrashing.
2	It Chapter Two		1,412,997		Pennywise the Dancing Clown is back (after two years in our world, 27 in the movie's) to strike terror on both a small Maine town and moviegoers worldwide as the latter half of Stephen King's doorstopper of a book is adapted. Reception hasn't been as warm as part 1, specially as the near-three hour running time is borderline abusive, but It still translated to an opening of $185 million worldwide.
3	The Bahamas		1,238,811		A beautiful Caribbean archipelago nation that has just been devastated by the strongest hurricane on record (#7), with damages estimated at $7 billion.
4	Joker (2019 film)		1,017,268		Last year, a Marvel Comics villain got his own movie divorced from its superhero, and the results were disappointing. DC's attempt to do the same seem to have better results, as the origin movie for Batman's archnemesis has been winning viewers and awards at the festival circuit, which certainly makes viewers all the more eager for the wide release of Joker in October.
5	Chandrayaan-2		1,009,099		India's second lunar probe is still in the Moon's orbit, though its rover component has faced problems following detachment and possibly had a hard landing on the satellite.
6	Bianca Andreescu		837,190		It's been a good year for Romanian tennis players: Simona Halep won Wimbledon, and now Bianca Andreescu (a Canadian with Romanian parents) got her first Grand Slam title in the US Open. And both beat the same player (#10) in the finals!
7	Hurricane Dorian		789,760		Only since 1935 had there been a landfalling hurricane as strong, with winds of up to 295 km/h (185 mph). Dorian ravaged the Bahamas (#3) on full force, caused lesser impacts on Florida, flooded the Carolinas, and eventually got stronger as it hit Canada.
8	Deaths in 2019		759,275		I believe Them Bones are me Some say we're born into the grave...
9	2019 FIBA Basketball World Cup		673,468		For the first time in 52 years, basketball holds its world championship in a year separate from its football equivalent. It's being held in China, whose team has visibly not been same ever since Yao Ming retired, and crashed in the preliminary round.
10	Serena Williams		581,360		The younger of the Williams sisters has done so much in tennis (39 major titles, 23 on Grand Slams!) that she could just retire. But no, she keeps on at 37 and is still reaching big games – even if this year, it has been two Grand Slam finals lost to young Romanians (#6).

For a list supposedly of recent events, some of which remain in the public eye for weeks (be it sports, Indian movies and Moon missions), many entries in this report actually go a bit back further, headed by two scary things that happened in September: an infamous 2001 terrorist attack whose repercussions seemingly never end, and a 1986 book/2017 movie that is back in theaters. More past things appear with series about 1960s spies (#5) and a musicians who broke in the 1970s (#6) who just joined the yearly death toll (#8).

For the week of September 8 to 14, 2019, the 25 most popular articles on Wikipedia, as determined from the WP:5000 report were:

Rank	Article	Class	Views	Image	About
1	September 11 attacks		1,787,632		It was the 18th anniversary of the day where three (almost four) planes were used as weapons against the United States, starting the War on Terror and our current age of paranoia; views were probably helped by Today's Featured Article being the episode of The Simpsons featuring the Twin Towers that were destroyed that day.
2	It Chapter Two		1,449,139		Wikipedians love movies, so this shouldn't be any surprise – horror films are always a hit. This comes two years after the highly lauded initial movie, which broke box-office records. This one hasn't been quite as successful, but much of that may be due to the extended runtime (almost 3 hours) in addition to the R rating shared by both movies, as well as a more mixed critical response.
3	Antonio Brown		905,367		After a long tenure in the Pittsburgh Steelers, this American football player would begin a new chapter in the Oakland Raiders... if Brown hadn't started to butt heads with the management and asked to be released, ultimately signing with the defending champions.
4	Rafael Nadal		833,946		Won the US Open, his fourth in the Flushing Meadows court and nineteenth overall (only one more to tie Federer!).
5	Eli Cohen		802,862		A Mossad spy whose gathered intelligence was crucial for Israel to win the Six Day War, even if it cost his life at the hands of the Syrian government. Netflix has released a miniseries about his exploits.
6	Eddie Money		753,867		The past few years have been inescapable in their love for taking our beloved celebrities from us, and this week was no exception – Eddie Money, of "Take Me Home Tonight" fame, died last Saturday after recently announcing his diagnosis with stage 4 esophageal cancer. I do hope he got his ticket to paradise on the way out.
7	Chandrayaan-2		744,184		India's attempt to become the fourth country to land a probe on the Moon (after the US, the USSR, and China) instead made them the second to only crash in our satellite (after Israel), as malfunctions doomed the landing component – the orbiter is still alright.
8	Deaths in 2019		725,112		In our ever-morbid fascination with death, we continue to visit the list of those who have recently left us. All is not lost, however, in spite of this weekend's spate of perishings; we still have Maid Marian, the living embalmed and the Prince of Darkness, so there's still a glimmer of hope.
9	Bianca Andreescu		701,332		Won the US Open, the first Canadian tennis player with a Grand Slam singles title to her name.
10	Saaho		677,656		Bollywood's latest hit, now among the highest-grossing Indian films ever.

Aside from the usual handful of celebrity deaths and the latest films and TV series, there's something of an aliens and spies theme running through this week's list, with a secret US Air Force base and an obscure Israeli spy both making surprise appearances. For the week of September 15 to 21, 2019, the 25 most popular articles on Wikipedia, as determined from the WP:5000 report were:

Rank	Article	Class	Views	Image	About
1	Ric Ocasek		1,448,669		When a celebrity appears on this list, all too often it's because they've died, and sadly the appearance of the lead vocalist for The Cars is no exception. Ocasek died on September 15, at the age of 75.
2	Storm Area 51, They Can't Stop All of Us		1,080,603		The long-awaited, semi-serious, semi-satirical, storming of Area 51 to discover dead or captured aliens finally took place on September 20. Or perhaps it was cancelled. At any rate, around 150 people showed up.
3	Cokie Roberts		845,528		The second person to appear on the list due to their death, the award-winning journalist died on September 17 of complications arising from breast cancer.
4	Unbelievable (miniseries)		785,151		No top-25 list would be a top-25 list without several of the latest TV series making an appearance. This critically acclaimed web series dramatises the Washington and Colorado serial rape cases and was released on Netflix on September 13.
5	Deaths in 2019		779,592		Death is always on everybody's mind, it seems. Whether it's your own death or, in this case, the deaths of famous people.
6	Hustlers (2019 film)		536,206		With an almost all-female cast including Jennifer Lopez and Constance Wu, this caper was released in the US on September 13, and has already made $76 million a the box office and attracted positive reviews.
7	Clash of Champions (2019)		637,908		If there's one thing Wikipedians like almost as much as dead celebrities and new Netflix dramas, it's wrestling. This week, it was this pay-per-view wrestling event held on September 15 in North Carolina that's been getting a lot of interest.
8	Ad Astra		637,533		Not the motto of the Royal Air Force, nor even the popular chicken pizza from Pizza Express, this article is about the star-studded (pun absolutely intended) new film directed by James Gray and released on September 20.
9	It Chapter Two		572,364		The second part of the film that means you'll never look the same way again at clowns, red balloons... or children in yellow raincoats. This returns two years after part one, both of which are based on the 1986 Stephen King novel.
10	Paulina Porizkova		563,058		She's a model, actress and author, but this week she appears on this list after being unfortunate enough to have discovered her estranged husband, Ric Ocasek (this week's #1) dead in his home.