The Bible according to... (well, not me but it fits)
On the 7th day (we'll call it Saturday for arguments sake) God got really wasted and projectile vomitted everywhere. On Sunday God woke and create the hangover (NO! Not the film) and God looked at the hangover and he saw that it was F*****G S**T!!! God then had a bacon barm and a cup of coffee and sat down on the rock (the one that looks like Shreks head) and started to think. Suddenly he smiled a devilish smile (I know I was there... writing this... honest) and God created hangover immunity and blessed few special people (me being one of them xD) with this immunity, then he looked at his watch and realised he was late for church and no-one survived the blast!!
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