This review is transcluded from Talk:Alvin and the Chipmunks (film)/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Yovt (talk · contribs) 15:48, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: 1989 (talk · contribs) 05:05, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• rare singing talent  Donereworded to "singing talent"

• Per MOS:CITELEAD, if information is being repeated from the body, there shouldn’t be citations in the lead. Done

• third-best-selling Done

• There should be a colon after three sequels. Done

Plot

• who was his college roommate is irrelevant Done

• The end of the first paragraph feels eery. There’s a jump from songwriting to a muffin basket. It needs to be reworded. Done

• advertising -> marketing Done

• uncomfortable and ultimately causing her to leave I don’t believe this is accurate. Done

• prompting Ian to sign a record deal ???  Done- explained later

• whose only interest is profiting off the Chipmunks' success I feel this is redundant to what’s said later. Done

• The first sentence shouldn’t be in the last paragraph, it messes up the flow  Done

  Dave sneaks into the theatre with Claire's help. This should be expanded. What made him do this? Done added to a previous paragraph

• preparing for their world tour this should be reworded Done

• Despite Dave losing Ian, the Chipmunks appear in Dave's car. As Dave and the Chipmunks reconcile, Ian discovers their escape, costing him both his career and fortune. This part could be structured better Done

Cast

• Only two of the eight have a source. —- sources not needed per MOS:FILMCAST, but I’ll look into it

Production

• to apply the technique ???  Done reworded to "recording technique"

• was attached to direct could be worded better Done"was assigned to direct"

• Why did the Sr. estate file a lawsuit? Done added "The project was put on hold after the estate of Ross Bagdasarian Sr. filed a lawsuit against Universal in September 2000, claiming the studio had failed to properly license products featuring Alvin and his singing companions. "

• There is no source for Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, or Vince Vaughn being considered for the role of David Seville. Done removed

• and Cameron Richardson signed that month  Done reworded to "and Cameron Richardson joining that month to play Claire."

• There is no source for Tom Cruise being approached to play Ian Hawke. Done removed

• as the first film to be produced under the leadership of 20th Century Fox Animation president Vanessa Morrison Why does this matter? Done removed

• Principal photography began on March 28, 2007 and Filming took place primarily in areas of Los Angeles should be merged.  Done

• The sub sections are not in chronological order in terms of events taking place. The Visual section should not be in last. Same thing with the Release section. ---- mostly  Done ; production is mis-chronogilized because interview content is crucial to be formatted a different way

• such as Voodoo and Icy names seem trivial Done reworded

• although  Done reworded

• were produced and animated with computers could be worded better Done removed "with computers"

Music

• new songs -> original songs Done

• have charted -> charted Done

• limited edition album details? -- none I could find

Release

• I feel Response towards Cross doesn’t belong in this section. --- can stay per MOS:FILMCONTROVERSIES "Alternatively, isolated criticism can be set out in summary: for example, complaints about a horror film's poster being too gory could be detailed and cited in the article's "Release" section."

Reception

• The Chicago Reader comment is too vague to understand. Done reworded entire sentence to "The Chicago Reader criticized the lack of depth in the characters of David Seville and Ian Hawke, describing them as "cardboard"."

• This sentence The most common censure was the film's satire on commercialism, which was hypocritical due to being bombarded with popular brands, including the chipmunks themselves. has numerous references with only one quoted in the prose. If you’re going to use the others, use the |quote= parameter in cite web to support what’s said. It also reads like a personal opinion, I'd reword it. Done

• Explained Burr ???  Done reworked to "Burr explained the film's message..."

• under-acting Are there any other terms you can use? Done reworded the entire sentence to ""Some critics took issue with Lee's subdued performance, particularly his underwhelming delivery of the iconic "Alvin!" yell.""

• There’s no period on the first sentence of third paragraph. Done

• Some critics disliked Lee's under-acting, particularly his underwhelming yelling of the word "Alvin!" has seven references with only one quoted in prose. See WP:CITEKILL. Done collapsed to 4

• In his review for Première, Andrew Grant found this feels backwards. Done reworded to "Andrew Grant of Première found..."

• Some reviewers praised Cross' performance no references with quotes and should be a new paragraph. Done added nyt quote and split pg

• The Bill Goodykoontz, Andrew Grant and Roger Ebort quotes are too long. Done shortened

• the values What did the quoted mean by that? Done expanded entire sentence to: When mentioning Seville's relationship with the Chipmunks and Ian's plans with them, The Philadelphia Inquirer wrote, "Ultimately, the values and the CGI are good, but the acting is broad and the chipmunks aren't really differentiated."

• The publishers Vice and The Globe and Mail are not italicized on the last paragraph of Critical response. Done In fact, the flow in it is quite bad and should be reworked.

• also commented on the shot composition there’s no comment before this about that. Done removed

• nominated for a Young Artist Award has no source  Done + ref from article

Sequels

• Zachary Levi joined the cast he was in one movie so this is inaccurate.  Done

• also introduced -> introduced  Done

These are my concerns as of right now. 1989 (talk) 05:05, 27 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello 1989, thank you for reviewing this article. I would greatly appreciate an extra week to address these conceerns; much appreciated and happy new year! 𝚈𝚘𝚟𝚝 (𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚟𝚝) 04:06, 4 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hello @1989, I have gone through almost all comments on here and done what many asked; I would greatly appreciate more input. 𝚈𝚘𝚟𝚝 (𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚟𝚝) 16:06, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The second bulletpoint on Lead wasn’t addressed. 1989 (talk) 16:23, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

All bullepoints are now addressed, thank you. 𝚈𝚘𝚟𝚝 (𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚟𝚝) 16:49, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I notice there is just one note that attributes to multiple references, but there are others sentences that don’t. 1989 (talk) 17:35, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I have collapsed the note. 𝚈𝚘𝚟𝚝 (𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚟𝚝) 17:42, 13 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]